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Re: Gardenergirl, what should i do? » JenStar

Posted by kerria on October 15, 2005, at 11:09:32

In reply to Re: Gardenergirl, what should i do? » kerria, posted by JenStar on October 14, 2005, at 22:53:48

Thank you, JenStar.
Right now i'm struggling with feeling that it was not a mistake but intentional somehow- that the drs wanted me to be in pain. i know that it doesn't make sense but that's how i feel.
The pain is very bad and i can't stand it as well. i don't have a capacity anymore. Some of the things said i keep hearing- and i'm not even trying to think about it. i can't wait for the pain to be gone but this is just the beginning of treatment and i have to be in charge of getting it.
There is no capacity anymore.
Everyone around me is so negative against me, they can't understand- T hasn't called me back. i've been waiting three hours and i almost never call him.
To make things worse today is a very painful anniversary.
too much pain and no one here on my side helping .
i'm so tired of being alone in everything. i hate being my own advocate and having the criticism of everyone around me. i can't do it anymore.


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