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Re: Depressed after orgasm--anyone else get this?

Posted by yogamouse on February 21, 2005, at 12:53:23

In reply to Re: Depressed after orgasm--anyone else get this?, posted by xxNightOwl28 on February 12, 2005, at 5:49:21

i have gone through phases in my life where orgasm has felt really depressing afterwards. not the next day, like a hangover, as the previous poster experiences, but immediately afterwards. i feel depressed, anxious and extrememly alienated, and often panicky.
for me, there are two, well, maybe three, things at play here. one is generally whether i'm feeling good in my life and about my mental health. when i'm not, i'm much more vulnerable to feeling crappy after orgasm, which makes sense, i think. but, more specifically, i find that if my life has lacked meaningful connection with others -- which it easily can as i'm a bit of an introvert and navel gazer despite liking people in general and being in a good, long-term relationship -- and then i have just average, more-or-less mastubatory sex (you know, the kind where we just use each other to get off however lovingly) then i feel crappy afterwards. it's like it amplifies the lack of meaningful connection i've been experiencing generally in my life acutely -- maybe because it's an act that can bring us together so beautifully, but has failed to. i don't know.

the other side of things is that sex stirs stuff up, and orgasm more so. it's a very vulnerable position to be in with another person.

the third thing is chemical. don't buy the first poster's message on this thread about orgasms having nothing to do with neurotransmitters (no offense first poster!). orgasms release powerful chemicals into the brain. many people (like me) who have issues around anxiety and depression are hypervigilant about, and sensitive towards, subtle changes in body chemistry. do you take good mutli vitamins? exercise? all these things play roles in dopamine and seratonin levels. do you eat enough tryptophan? this amino acid is crucial in forming seratonin. i find that when i make my body as healthy as it can be, physically, and try to have really delicious stare-into-my-partner's-eyes-when-i-come sex that it makes me far less likely to feel terrible afterwards. there is a good book, called The Art of Sexual Ecstasy that delves into the whole idea of profound connection with others through sex. it also addresses the depleting nature of having too many orgasms that you mentioned. good luck! hope some of this helps!


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poster:yogamouse thread:446901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20050105/msgs/461301.html