Posted by Miller on March 6, 2003, at 20:01:41
In reply to Re: Dena, posted by Dena on March 6, 2003, at 16:19:09
Dena,
You can really touch my heart. It is ironic because tonight I went to a church and prayed for a really long time. The church isn't open in the evenings, but there is a man who works in the rectory that lets me in. What a nice guy.
Right now I feel like I need some Divine assistance with three areas. The first is with my Faith. It is a sad reality that I believe in God and Faith until my life starts to crumble and then my old habits of being unworthy start to act up. So, a prayer for a stronger Faith may help.
The next thing I need help with is honesty. Not just telling the truth, but pure uncensored honesty. I have a hard time being honest with myself regarding feelings and emotions. In turn, it has made it extremely difficult for people to help me. So, if I can find the strength to face and tell the honesty, I would be able to receive as well as give myself. Without being honest, there is no me to give.
And finally, I need strength to be able to handle whatever the future holds for me. I don't want to consider suicide again. However, when things get tough, that's all I see. If my life is meant to live without my husband, I need strength to mourn the lost love. If I can finally learn to speak the truth, I will need strength to mourn the true past. If I am to continue with my life and to improve, I need strength to commit myself fully to doing so.
I know I ask a lot, huh? But, maybe you are right. With both of us praying, we may have a good chance of our prayers being answered.
And Dena, I am praying that you will remain such a strong suuport to yourself as well as others.
Thank you in advance for the blessings.
-Miller (Jyl)
poster:Miller
thread:206510
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20021227/msgs/206636.html