Posted by Solstice on January 5, 2011, at 11:08:15
In reply to Re: What can I do? » Solstice, posted by Dinah on January 5, 2011, at 9:40:50
> > I don't know that there's any way to actually prevent someone from doing that, other than to simply not participate in anything. I suppose that it doesn't matter whether it's online or IRL, if someone wants to invest the energy into collecting information about others, they can do it within the limits of the law.
> What are you saying Phillipa did? I thought the topic of conversation was items sent to Phillipa by email or posted publicly on the board. Are you accusing Phillipa of searching the internet for information on others?
Dinah.. I am not aware of my saying anything about Phillipa doing anything. It might be helpful for you to point out specifically what I said that led you to interpret what I said as an accusation against Phillipa. I was responding in a very general way to Maxime's concerns by pointing out that it's not that hard to collect information about people because of the www, if that's what they want to do. And unless they do something illegal with it, there's nothing one can do to stop someone from collecting information. I'm a little hurt that you would interpret me in such a negative way.
As for my experience with Phillipa - I personally have received only a single babblemail from her. It was a supportive and caring expression that appeared to be prompted by a thread where someone was giving me some grief. Phillipa did not solicit anything from me (real name, photos, private email addy, etc.) She also did not pass any information about anyone else on to me. She didn't ask for a response, and I didn't respond as there was no need.
> I don't see anyplace on board where that is being said. Is someone spreading gossip off board about Phillipa?I wouldn't know. I have not had any off-board communication with anyone about Phillipa, and it is not in my nature to engage in communications of that type.
> > That said, it would feel very creepy to me to find out someone is keeping a file and collecting information about me.
> I keep photos sent to me by email, and emails sent to me. I also might bookmark items on occasion, if Babblers have posted links to them. I may even arrange those photos, emails, and links into folders. I like a tidy computer. I routinely keep things friends send me because I care about them. I'm sorry you find my behavior creepy.Dinah, it really hurts to read this. I do exactly the same thing you're describing above - and I think most people who have even the slightest computer savvy do the same. And my statement about collection of information and keeping a file on me being creepy was interpreted out-of-context.
I'll elaborate. About eight years ago I was stalked for at least a year by someone who I'd met and was initially interesting to me. After a few months, this woman's interest in me was feeling weird to me, so I backed away. Before it was over, this person had a diary of her observations of my comings and goings (she was watching my house!), phone records she'd taken from my mailbox, and had managed to get into my email account (by spending a LOT of time guessing possible passwords), and forwarded my email exchanges with other people to herself. She knew where my daughter took dance, and showed up at an advertised studio dance recital. I was in the audience and didn't see her. She sat in the back and at some point caught my young daughter and told her "I will never be out of your life." I was petrified! I got the local police (small town) involved and was fortunate enough to have an acquaintance who was the lead detective for, among other things, 'internet crimes.' Before it was over with, this woman provided him with two three inch binders of information she'd collected on me! This was stuff I had NOT given her, but because she was extremely internet/computer savvy and had lots of time, and had stolen things from my mailbox and broke into my email account, she had quite a lot. She had pages and pages of documents tracking my internet movements.Now THAT is creepy - and I challenge anyone to argue with it. When I said collecting information and keeping a file was creepy - I was NOT talking about someone having a file on their computer with my name on it and pictures and emails, etc. that I'd sent them. I was talking about situations where someone (and yes, even someone we know) is, without our knowledge, obsessively collecting information about people, making files, tracking them, and doing all of this without a socially acceptable reason. I was NOT speaking to Maxime's concerns about Phillipa specifically, because I don't have any experience with Phillipa. I was addressing the issue of it being creepy to find out that you're being tracked, that information is being collected about you without your awareness, that someone you either don't know, or don't have a continuing relationship with, has a file with your name on it and they spend time searching for things to put in that file.
I really feel misunderstood, Dinah.. and I think it especially hurts because I've felt so (one-sidedly) connected to you for such a long time. It wouldn't bother me one bit if Bob misunderstood me and jumped to negative conclusions about me, but it really does hurt that somehow I didn't merit being given the benefit of the doubt when you read my response to Maxime.
:-( sol.
poster:Solstice
thread:975555
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/975901.html