Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2011, at 10:49:40
In reply to Re: What can I do?, posted by Willful on January 5, 2011, at 10:26:57
You are making the assumption that she isn't hurt.
I don't think that's a true assumption.
Some people respond to hurt with words. Some people respond with actions of self harm and suicidal actions. Some people respond by holding on to what they can of their dignity. I can't tell you the number of people who think I'm cold because I put up a shield to defend myself against hurt. Because at some level I believed what my teachers said. That if I don't show pain, they'll stop. Which isn't true either. Nothing will make them stop. Not showing pain and not withholding pain. NOTHING I CAN DO WILL MAKE THEM STOP.
Grown people aren't capable of being hurt? I hurt. I hurt when people make assumptions about my feelings. I hurt when people make accusations about me that I feel unable to counter.
Not everyone is good with words expressing their feelings. Not everyone self injures and tells everyone when they are hurt. Is the hurt of those who suffer in silence less? My experience on Babble has been that it may be thought so. I have often wondered whether this would continue so blatantly if Phillipa talked about injuring herself in response. Linehan points out that sometimes self injury works.
But I'm not just defending Phillipa. Whether or not she needs it. I'm defending myself from having to witness threads like this. Dr. Bob is sure not protecting me from it.
And in hte end I am as powerless as I ever was in middle school. Nothing I say will stop Maxime and you and others making assumptions and talking how you want about a fellow human being who deserves more. Yes DESERVES more, by virtue of being a fellow human being. NOTHING I CAN DO WILL MAKE YOU AND MAXIME AND THE OTHERS STOP DOING THIS TO PHILLIPA.
I'm not sure if you were here when a blocked poster came to babble and started talking about me and Dr. Bob eating the genitals of my recently deceased and much loved dog. When the poster I thought it likely to be was returned to babble, and seemed not to be getting any responses, do you know what I did? I posted to that poster as I would to a poster in distress. And do you know why? That poster was a human being. Human beings deserve kindness and respect for no more than being human beings.
Phillipa deserves to be treated with the same respect that other Babblers deserve. Are we going to start looking at Babbler's lives to see whether they have acted in such a way as to earn respect and kindness here?
Dr. Bob is not providing a safe place for Phillipa. I can't stand being here without doing anything. Yet I can't do anything that will in any way help. That makes me want to self injure. I am crying and shaking and can't stop. I can't be at a Babble like this.
poster:Dinah
thread:975555
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/975899.html