Posted by Solstice on November 27, 2010, at 20:18:37
In reply to Re: Solstice got good ideas, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2010, at 18:21:29
> > where does that leave members just as valuable, but perhaps less adept at language and expression?
>
> > If the punished person is impulsive, stubborn, or a slow-learner the concept of punishment generally tends to increase the pain until the pain is sufficient to cause the offender to correct their behavior. Here, isolation from the community is extraordinarily painful for many..
>
> > But there are highly valued members here who have a less well-developed ability to take advantage of that provision. There needs to be something more assistive, that doesn't put pressure on skills that aren't as well-developed.
>
> Impulsive, stubborn, or a slow learner... I see...
Alex -One of the challenges of communicating in writing like we do here is that we loose the benefit of facial expressions and other non-verbal modes of communication. Re-reading what I wrote in your excerpts here, I can see how easy it is to take it in a much different way than I meant it as I wrote it. I hate that. It sounds like I'm implying that those who color outside the lines of Bob's civility guidelines are, therefore "impulsive, stubbor, or slow-learners." I did not intend for it to come out like that. Those word choices were sort of facetious on my part.. because I was trying to call attention to the problem with punishment as a way to 'encourage' people (especially in this venue) to line up with civility guidelines... the absurdity of it... the futility of it. It was not intended to be a characterization of how I see Babble, anyone who has been blocked at Babble, etc. It was my attempt to explain a concept. I think my mistake was in combining my attempt to explain a concept with genuine Babble community experiences. I can see how easily what I wrote would be interpreted in a way that would understandably be hurtful. I wish I could re-write it, but since that's not an option, all I can do is genuinely apologize to anyone who felt offended reading what I wrote.
I honestly have a deep and abiding respect for people in general - and all the differences among us. My own beloved adult child has considerable cognitive impairments, including mental illness, so please know that even for those on the planet who are given to impulsivity, stubborness, or are slow learners... I feel only understanding, compassion, and acceptance. I am the first one to stand up on their behalf. Perhaps that is some of what drives my efforts to find a more merciful way, a more restorative way, to handle the inevitabllity of there being good people on this site who deserve to be here, but they have difficulty staying out of trouble with the civility guidelines.
Thank you, Alex, for bringing this issue to my attention.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:969088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/971488.html