Posted by lucie lu on December 9, 2008, at 14:37:45
In reply to Re: Blocked, posted by Phillipa on December 9, 2008, at 13:02:37
A couple of things, in no particular order and to no one in particular. First, a quick comment about whether board dynamics were being influenced by new people (via the "PB experiment," and my sincere apologies to any newcomers who might have joined through this route!) As a participant in the original admin discussion about that issue, I am sensitive to the issue of how new members might affect existing group dynamics. Interestingly, I have seen on the psych board only a few new posters since then, certainly nothing like the "deluge" we feared. With regard to the present situation we've been discussing, nearly all involved were regular posters, many long-time. So the "new poster" factor does not seem to have played any part here.
The second is that I think that a lot of what we are debating boils down to the role and administration of boundaries on Babble. That is what PB's guidelines are - just boundaries. And those of us who participate on the psych board should be VERY familiar with the concept of boundaries. While PB is not therapy, there are similarities. Therapeutic boundaries exist for the protection of both participants. They create a safe place where the work of therapy can be done. Where boundaries have collapsed, and there are unfortunately too many instances we are aware of, the consequences have been disastrous; the blocked poster is one who was profoundly (and wantonly, IMO) injured by a former T - an experience from which I think she is still having a hard time recovering from, and which is still a major source of her great pain.
So Babble is not therapy, but many of the dynamics are similar and that is why it works. Participants need safety above all to enable them to interact on a genuine and deep level with other Babblers, share deep and personal things, and participate in one anothers' growth and healing. We can disagree with one another and still remain safe because the board is boundaried. Without boundaries? I really believe this circle of safety, as in therapy, is destroyed. We can say that we should be able to handle "exceptions" but can we really? Who really knows where a boundary crossing or violation will lead? Or what the consequences will be for any individual? In therapy, boundary crossings usually start with the best of intentions, but in some cases may precede more flagrant and profound boundary violations which are very destructive to both the therapy and the participants. My point is, that we need to keep boundaries on Babble for our own and others' protection, and to ensure that the board remains a safe place where caring and healing can take place. So although we as individuals may not like rules much (believe me, I have issues with authority as much as anyone plus I have a *serious* mamma bear gene :) I have come to learn in therapy that boundaries really exist for everyone's protection. The point is not to ignore people in need, but to help them as much as possible *within the boundaried space.* This is not to say that other helpful actions can't be taken outside that boundaried space, e.g. other forms of personal communication (b-mail? chat?), and perhaps ways to do this should be more actively explored and facilitated in cases like this one. But I really believe that it is critical to keep reasonably intact boundaries in place to keep the PB "space" safe and functional for everyone and at all times. Once broken, hard to repair. There is too much at stake, the board is an invaluable resource for most of us, so let's protect it as well as each other. Safety is such a rare and valuable commodity in this world.
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:867435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/867742.html