Posted by Racer on July 14, 2005, at 13:47:13
In reply to Lou's reply to Tamar-othralt » Tamar, posted by Lou Pilder on July 14, 2005, at 11:39:45
> I am requesting that if anyone is going to reply to this thread that they consider the following:
> A. Is it civil for Dr. Hsiung to suggest to others on this forum that they [...not read...] anyone's posts, or just my posts, because the content of the posts could cause them to reply to be uncivil here?Yes, Lou, it would be civil for Dr Hsiung to suggest that some people not read posts written by some other people. It would even be civil for Dr Hsiung to suggest that certain specific people here not read *your* posts if they are so upset by them that they may not be able to respond within the civility guidelines of this site.
But, Lou? That's not what Dr Bob did. Dr Bob reminded someone that, if certain posts are likely to upset him/her, he/she *does not have to read them.* That's a good reminder, in my opinion.
And Lou? Here's something I really hope that you'll consider when you read this: Dr Bob was not suggesting that *anyone* here boycott any particular poster. Dr Bob was suggesting that someone might be able to avoid emotional turmoil, hurt feelings, worsening symptoms of their disorder, upset, etc, by not reading certain posts that might be predicably triggering. Remember, Lou, your actions -- just like everyone else's -- have consequences. Sometimes, Lou, the consequences of your actions might just be deeply upsetting for someone else. Has that ever entered your mind?
> B. How does one determine for themselves if a post will cause them to reply and be uncivil here?That, Lou, will be different for every person in the world. We could probably all make some suggestions, but what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. That's what the phrase "Your mileage will vary" is all about. There are no hard and fast rules to apply.
> C. Could Dr. Hsiung's "remarks",([...do not read...]} have been left out in his statement in question and perhaps replaced by:
> 1.when you read someone's post that you have determined to be of content that you do not agree with, I am reminding , or suggesting, that you consider that different points of view here are encouraged and that your reply is to be in accordance with the guidlines of the forum even if your views are different...]?
> 2. when you read someone's posts here,
> 3. please do not boycott any poster's posts
> 4. if you see a poster's name as the poster,
> 5. other good and just alternatives
> Lou
>No, Lou, I don't think that Dr Bob's suggestion could have been replaced by any of your alternatives. You want to know why? Because what Dr Bob wrote was clear, concise, and not all that open to misunderstanding or interpretation. That counts, for an administrator. Sometimes, adding in all the specifiers and qualifiers that might make you satisfied would destroy the meaning of what one wanted to communicate. And you know what else? Even if one were to add in every modifier, qualifier, and specifier that one could think of, someone who was intent on finding a flaw could still do so.
I hope I'll be able to stay out of this after saying this, Lou. This is something I'm saying as one person, one human being, to another -- from me to you, Lou, personally:
Some of the things you have written, in this thread and in others, has very deeply offended me, and some of it has hurt my feelings. That may not be what you intend, Lou, in your posts, but it is one of the consequences of your actions. You may have noticed that, despite my hurt or offended feelings, I have not requested that you cease to express yourself. The word that best describes the reason I have not done so is "RESPECT." I respect your right to express yourself, so I don't tell you that you're wrong to do so; I don't ask you to stop; I don't complain to Dr Bob that your words have hurt me, or caused offense, or damaged me in some other way. That's because I respect the right of individuals to express their views, without imposing the standards of others to that expression.
By my actions, I have shown you respect, Lou. I am asking you to consider, when posting your myriad "requests for determination", whether doing so is respectful to others here.
poster:Racer
thread:525619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050628/msgs/527543.html