Posted by Racer on July 14, 2005, at 1:08:58
In reply to Lou's reply to AuntiMel-cudbewrog » AuntieMel, posted by Lou Pilder on July 13, 2005, at 21:02:19
Just for this thread, I'm rescinding my request that you not post to me, Lou.
I'm asking you if you, personally, like me? I'm not asking you to write back with a question about potentials, I'm asking a clear and concise question. Do you like me? When you see my name attached to a post, do you immediately perk up and click on that one first?
See, when I come to these boards, there are certain names I look for first. Those are people whom I've come to like -- and a few I know will irritate me, for any number of reasons, ranging from bad spelling or grammar, to ideas that do not interest me, to just something I can't put my finger on but know is there. That's natural, and it's normal. Not everyone likes everyone else. It is not something that rules can be made about, it wouldn't do any good to make a rule such as "Everyone must now like Poster A the best" because it wouldn't work. Sure, that rule could be made, but it really couldn't be enforced.
Some people can't -- or don't -- control their reactions when they read posts that upset them. Their reactions may lead them to post something that does not meet the civility guidelines for this site. I believe that Dr Bob was reminding those people that they were required to abide by the rules, and that it might be that they could avoid the sort of posts that trigger them.
That said, Lou, I do believe that Dr Bob's meaning does include reminding people that they don't have to read any post by a poster who consistently triggers them. Is there "the potential" that some people find your posts so triggering that they can't control themselves well enough to remain civil after reading them? There probably are some people who feel that way, Lou, just as I'm sure there are a fair number of people who don't bother to read what I have to say. Does it hurt my feelings? Sure, because I want to be liked. Do I lose any sleep over it? No, it really isn't *that* important to me.
On the other hand, when someone brings it to my attention that something I have written has hurt their feelings, or upset them, or just came across as thoughtless, unfeeling, or whatever, I do usually try to respond in a way that increases understanding between us, I try to learn from what has happened, and I try very, very hard to take responsibility for my own actions.
A while ago, one of my very favorite posters here, SLS, mentioned that he often didn't read my posts, because they were too long. That stung, because his is one of the first names I look for here. But I also understand. When I write something for him, I try to keep it short. That's my way of trying to accommodate the needs of someone I care about. That's part of getting along with others, which is what the civility rules are all about.
When I read your posts, Lou, it's hard for me to believe that you are interested in getting along with people here. I've seen a lot of other people ask you questions, but I haven't seen you answer any of those questions -- I've only seen you come back with a number of questions about potential meanings. What's more, in a number of threads, I've seen other people state that your post questioning theirs HAS HURT THEIR FEELINGS. They take responsibility for their feelings, but I've never once seen you write anything that leads me to believe that you care, or feel any regret for having HURT SOMEONE ELSE'S FEELINGS. All I see are questions about whether what someone has written might "have the potential" to be seen as being negative towards you.
Portage asked you a question above, and you replied with a request that he/she clarify that question. I guess I wonder why you seem to think that you are entitled to answers from others, when you won't offer us the courtesy in return?
poster:Racer
thread:525619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050628/msgs/527403.html