Posted by TamaraJ on July 9, 2005, at 11:23:40
In reply to Larry Hoover's block » TofuEmmy, posted by gabbii on July 9, 2005, at 9:27:08
What happened has been a sad thing in so many ways. Some people assume that the protesting of Larry's block is based soley on his popularity. Many have, however, acknowledged, that, although Larry is a well-liked and valuable member of the community, the protest was more about the block being given in spite of the fact that there not only clearly was ambiguity in the rules, but also administrative action for such an offense had been inconsistently applied previously.
The hard part, for me at least, is, although the rules do provide posters with a safe and secure environment, the rigid enforcement of those rules can, in some instances, do more harm than good, resulting in hurt feelings, strained or even ruined friendships, feelings of vulnerability and insecurity and good people leaving a site that is here to provide a community of supportive and compassionate people who are struggling with the same or similar demons and issues. It is clear that the rules, in some instances, can pit posters again posters, and the damage that does to a people's confidence, sense of self-worth and feelings of safety and security can be deep and long-lasting. Nobody should be leaving because of disagreements over the enforcement of the rules, but, unfortunately, it is happening and has happened, and that is a bloody shame.
Perhaps not a popular opinion, but the "spare the rod, spoil the child" theory of discipline is not necessarily effective in modifying behaviour (I know we are not children, so I do apologize for not being able to come up with a more suitable expression). In my own experience, I have always found that people of all ages learn more valuable and lasting lessons in civility, decorum and appropriate/acceptable behaviour by being given the opportunity to correct their behaviour immediately, rather than being given a "time out" or being harshly punished. I believe that, for certain breaches, a poster should be asked to rephrase, retract or apologize, or a combination the three. I think people do learn just as much from having to really think about how their words can affect others, and being able to do something about that and apply lessons learned sooner rather than later.
I don't expect others to agree with me, and I am not looking for a debate. I just had to express my feelings on this.
Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:523749
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050628/msgs/525430.html