Posted by Shar on June 26, 2004, at 23:29:24
In reply to Dr Bob, please help, posted by pegasus on June 24, 2004, at 12:36:57
Pegasus, Dinah, and others who are scraping up dropping jaws,
I'm so sorry that you have been hurt or disillusioned, or disappointed by nobody stepping in here. I can certainly join you in that feeling, especially where Dinah is concerned.
In the bad old days, when one was sent reeling in pain, my T and I called this "good information." In that, it's good to have an idea of what to expect.
In this situation, obviously, some people can get away with abuse, while others cannot. I'm very sorry the abusers win out here.
IMHO, of course.
Shar
P.S. Good post, Pegasus.
> Would you please do something about the exchanges skeptical of therapy and various diagnoses going on in babble/psycho? I know that fires isn't saying anything overtly incivil, and may indeed be genuinely trying to help and baffled about why people are feeling bad. But people are clearly feeling put down and accused.
>
> Here's what I mean:
>
> First fires posts about DID/MPD:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359573.html
>
> “Perhaps a believer in the disorder can tell me . . . Assuming the disorder is real . . .” ?
>
> When Dinah complains that this makes her feel . . . um . . . bad, he replies:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359584.html
>
> “I don't know what else to say, except perhaps you may be too ill at this time to participate on this group, if indeed my posts are really so disturbing to you.”
>
> Tinydancer tries to help:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/359675.html
>
> “I would ask that you choose your words with consideration, as there are people on these boards who have this diagnosis and may feel put down and insulted by you questioning the legitimacy of this diagnosis.”
>
> And he replies with with:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/359776.html
>
> “I can't help how people chose to interpret my words. I know what my intentions are, and as you have hinted only I can be the judge of them. Or, do some here claim to be able to read minds? :)”
>
> What I would suggest is that it might help for you to give fires your normal civility spiel about the goal here being support *and* education and that it’s not ok to say things that could lead others to feel accused or put down. And it might help to suggest that the way something is worded can make people feel put down, even if the content or intention is not incivil. It is possible to disagree in a supportive way, but I don't think that's happening here.
>
> I’d post this myself, but I asked fires not to post to me, and agreed not to post to him.
>
> pegasus
>
poster:Shar
thread:359804
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/360853.html