Posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2004, at 23:53:23
In reply to Re: new clause in civility guidelines » Dr. Bob, posted by pegasus on July 7, 2004, at 13:36:33
> Okay, hmmmm. Shadows fried neurons have been working overtime. I've been thinking about this quite hard. The thing that does get posters in trouble is the debate issue, so let's throw that out. In other words = Babble would be for support, sharing, socializing, and education (period). Just put that in the clause, this isn't a place for debating.
>
> shadows721Thanks for working overtime! The thing is:
1. I'd like to encourage discussion of different points of view. Where would discussion end and debate begin?
2. It takes two to debate.
--
> > So wording that could imply put downs would essentially be considered uncivil?
>
> Yes, please. I think that's what we've been asking for.But then we're back to:
> the trick is that something may sound as though it implied a put down, but really did not.
I think we may need to agree to disagree here. I don't think it would work to consider something uncivil whenever someone else felt a put down was implied.
> > 2. Maybe posters could help each other out regarding this? Be "civility buddies"?
>
> Well, we were certainly trying, but it wasn't working in the recent case. As I remember it, when people tried to help, they just got responses alleging to be baffled by why people were upset.Sorry, I was referring to:
> people who try to express how they are affected by the post [and who then themselves] get zapped
not the poster of the post in question...
> > 3. Sometimes it may be better not to be "assertive".
>
> Hmmm. I would say this is rare. But I think it is possible to be assertive and civil at the same time, which some people were doing beautifully, and others of us struggled with.Sometimes it may be better not to enter into a struggle?
> Personally, I have no issue seeing PBCs handed out to responses to marginially uncivil posts that themselves cross the civility line. It gives us all a challenge to learn how to disagree civilly.
>
> pegasusI think that's a nice perspective. And it may be a process:
> Part of learning how to deal with others might just be for people to be uncivil, have that pointed out by Dr Bob, and other members, and then work on appropriate alternate behaviors, and then keep posting. I have seen that happen many times here. There is the possibility for growth in this setting, kind of like group therapy, and I think people should take advantage of that... Sort of like practice here, before going to the 'outside world' and dealing with the humans in our family and work lives. So there will be difficulties on the board as people sort things out. Encouraging people to ignore certain posters who press their buttons...
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/21311.htmlBob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:359804
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/363908.html