Posted by beardedlady on April 23, 2002, at 7:04:23
In reply to Re: On Being Blocked, and Walking On Eggs, posted by Dr. Bob on April 23, 2002, at 2:23:16
> I'm all for inclusiveness. But it has its limits. And the more sensitive people are (the thinner their shells), the more restrictive the limits may need to be...
But that's not the way the world is supposed to work, Dr. Bob. The folks who have the thinner shells are not the ones that should get to determine whether our behavior is civil! (Neither should those of us who are tough.) Determining what might send a weak ego into a tizzy should not be our main concern here. It's an impossible task, besides! Communicating ideas that may make others stronger should be.
The civility policy here is somewhat akin to political correctness, but the problem with pc is that it's NOT CORRECT! It is wrong to call a person who is blind "visually challenged." Visually challenged folks have needs that are very different from the needs of the blind.
Exhibiting civil behavior, then, should not mean we must say nice, kind, sweet things that everyone can tolerate. Debate is often intolerable for those who have trouble defending their own skin.
> It never hurts to reexamine, but what if one person, out of fear, restrains himself or herself and as a result another person feels -- or a number of other people feel -- safer?
But what if tens of people, out of fear of being blocked, restrain themselves, and as a result, all but three or four of the people on the board feel unsupported?
The reexamination that needs to take place is, as I said before, with intent. You said you can't determine that, but I don't buy it.
I got a PBC for telling someone I believed he was the color of my beard. (I'm not going to repeat the exact words for fear of being blocked, so it'll be a little harder to make my point. And that's also detrimental to communicating on the board.) That person called women "bitches" and "hos," using the persona of a rapper as an excuse to denegrate women and, I believe, black people. When I complained to you about this, he accused me of "holding the black man down." My response to him said, in an ironic way, that we have no idea what color a person is on this board. (BTW, Dr. Bob, you have no idea what color my beard is!)
How did that undermine the safety of posters? How did it create an uncivil environment? How did it create an atmosphere of fear? My "intention" was obvious. I was called a racist, and I responded in a way that was neither uncivil nor unsupportive. It's not my responsibility to be supportive of him in that circumstance.
My intent was to say, "You can't get away with abusive language here, even if you act the stereotype of rapper." Why didn't I say it that way? Because that's the way you or someone else would have said it. That's not me.
We are individuals here. And we have individual ways of handling things. While different from the way you might do it, they are not necessarily uncivil for that reason.
I did not come to this thread to argue the fairness of my PBC. I used it as a continuation of Zo's argument. But I'm a civil person, and I did nothing at all to hurt another person. So while I'm here, I'd like to ask that my PBC be revoked!
Otherwise, I hope you will consider what I said about intent and about the purpose of the board. This simply can't be a place where the thin few skinned get special protection to the detriment of the rest of the board. That's what SPF 30 is for.
beardy : )
poster:beardedlady
thread:4374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020420/msgs/4416.html