Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 16, 2022, at 19:25:54
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - 1, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 13, 2022, at 1:55:30
i'll simpify what happened that caused truama, plus i had no one to go too, but anyways i was on high dose of dexedrine, for work, i worked for someone who ... if i didnt do the right things, i got chewed out and abused, dexedrine made me crazy at the office after i was shamed in frount of everyone. I went crazy, and started having harsh works back. But after that, i left a note to this employer that i was leaving, i had to leavee i couldlnt maintain the abuse and....the abuse was not considered abuse, it was more being humuliated and shamed, i couldnt take it anymore, and plus when dexedrine wore off, huge depression period, then i went home they wanted me to move out, i couldnt with the state i was in, it got really abusive at home, nothing at all psyhcial but it was the atmosphdre and energy i felt of them restenting me. almost hating me. This continued for about 6 months, and then i started having psychotic episodes, thinking the trickster was jumping around and possessing people i went too, it would be the grin, it was the same grin in everyone, my employer, at home, custodian at church, waitress at resturamt, i was out of my mind, i thought he was jumping everywhere and causing bad events to happen. It ws more a psychosis trauma, i have written all of but, that's what happened, do not every want to be vulnerable as during that time period, being planned to throw into rehabilitation facility, the hateful atmosphere, it made me go psychotic, like i said - the trickster, was playing mind games, everywhere i went, i would see people with the same grin, as the trickster, out of my mind. Anyways that's what happened, yes it did cause trauma, i have not written more things because they should not be told, but i know, it caused truama that had psychotic episodes as a result. I had to write it, there is no therapist to go too, no doctor, no friend, ill just write my truma times on the internet. And don't associate with me, or my real name. Just briefly read, and know that's what happened, but don't associate it, i wrote this anaymously. Don't let the past, heal your hurt, keep going and use creativty as a escape, lern to have mind that has survived. My story is nothign compared to other horrid truamas that have happened to other peoplee. But i rerember the pain, and shock and psychotic episodes. Sometmes....when you don't stop looking for love, being loved is help to the pain that happned that i know that someone loves me truely. Ok, that's it. Thank for reading, this is anamymous trauma expereinces. End of log
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1118967
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220128/msgs/1119033.html