Posted by b2chica on October 2, 2012, at 12:11:18
my pdoc now wants me to go into the hospital.
i was triggered more than i thought yesterday and last night i txt pdoc drunk and saying stupid stuff (but was real at the time)
and now his office called and wants me to go in.i asked them to give me some time and give me a day. they are going to call back at end of day to verify i will go in.
on the one hand. ive Never gone to the hospital feeling good. and i do. just well a little too good.
yesterday after being triggered i went 'shopping' again and spent another $120 that we dont have.but then i went home and tooks lots of pills and drank. bad.
today i know WHY i was like i was yesterday i just couldnt stop it.
but i also cant focus here at work. i constantly want to leave. which i think i'm going to here in a bit. IM BORED, can concentrate, just wanna shop. ok have little urge to cut, but not much.
i feel a little crazed in head but no visual illusions anymore, no real paranoia.AND for the money that i would spend on outpatient i could buy a LOT of new Things!
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1027311
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121001/msgs/1027311.html