Posted by maxime on October 31, 2010, at 15:49:06
In reply to Re: Thinking of coming off meds NO WAY! » maxime, posted by SLS on October 31, 2010, at 15:23:30
> > I WANT TO DIE.
>
> What stops you?
>
>
> - ScottJust my mom. She needs help because she has Alzheimers. I wasn't here my brother would put her in a home and she doesn't need that yet .... but she wouldn't be able to live here on her own.
I spend a lot of my time helping her. Even when at work I have to phone her 4 times a day to make sure she isn't in trouble. Then I have I to make sure I come home at the right time because she needs/wants her supper and she can't use the stove or oven. So I have to come home and make her dinner. I can never be bothered to make one for myself because I feel so DEAD. At night I have to plan the next day's lessons for my classes. Walk the dog. Spend a little time on the computer. Spend some time with my mom. Make sure my mom has taken her meds. Get something for her to her to wear the next day. Make her lunch for the next day. Then I fall into bed and I cry. I wake up, and it's time to start my day all over again.
You are probably wondering why I don't get help. I don't get help because I can't afford it. My brother is in charge of my mom's finances and he will not use any to pay for extra care. He figures that since I don't have a partner and that I live alone with my mom that I can take care of everything.
Bipolar Type 2, ED-NOS, Self-hatred
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being happy doesn´t mean the pain is gone. you just bury it deeper.
poster:maxime
thread:965683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101030/msgs/967821.html