Posted by Dima on August 19, 2010, at 17:42:38
In reply to Re: I feel horrible, posted by Dima on August 19, 2010, at 17:28:05
I'd like to describe in detail exactly how I feel. The feeling is not one I recognize as sadness or normal anxiety. It just feels "bad". I feel like I can't think. I can't focus enough to read or enjoy anything. The thoughts themselves feel "blurry" like I'm not completely sure what they are. And it feels like I have no control over what I think about. They jump around every few seconds, and when I try to focus on anything it feels almost like five other thoughts are distracting me the whole time.
I don't enjoy a single second in the day. Watching tv is all I do every day because it slightly distracts me from thinking about how bad I feel. It's not actually entertaining because I feel no emotion and can't even focus on any idea in the show for very long.
Low to no sex drive.
Low physical energy. Muscles feel much weaker after any exercise very faster and more intensely than they should.
I have social anxiety. I mostly just feel that I have nothing at all to say and feel awkward and I'm not interested in conversations themselves at all. They bring no enjoyment.
Insomnia. Long time falling asleep and wake up early or at night.
I've experienced all of this for years staying about the same level where I could still finish high school and start college. Everything got a lot more intense in January though. I dropped to a level where I can barely function on my own, not able to even consider school or work with this condition. If I wait too long without going back to college I'll lose my full scholarship and we don't really have any money to pay for college, so I really want to get better!
poster:Dima
thread:958455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100811/msgs/959161.html