Posted by linkadge on October 9, 2009, at 21:30:31
I know I've said this before, but something happens to me early in the morning - some sort of biochemical shift that makes me depressed.
I usually wake up several times night. When I wake up at 1 or 2 I feel good - good dreams, feeling positive. I go back to sleep. I wake up at 5 or so, I still feel good. I go back to sleep.
Somewhere between 6 and 8 something bad happens. Its like a sinking horrible death feeling. Like my life is over. Sadness galore. I sometimes wake up in tears around this time. Thoughts of death, dying, etc are predominant.
If I happen to stay up at 6:00 things are ok, but I am usually a little wired throughout the day. But if I get that extra 2 hours of sleep I usually spend half the day really low.
I don't know what happens during this time, but its like some death chemical gets released. I have been experimenting with taking a lower dose of ritalin around 6. Not enough to keep me awake though.
I think there is some sort of cholinergic activation that is happening around this time.
Whatever it is, its no fun.I know some people with depression wake up early and can't get back to sleep. I am wondering if this is some sort of adaptive mechanism to try and prevent a biochemical shift during this period.
Linkadge
poster:linkadge
thread:920327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091001/msgs/920327.html