Posted by polarbear206 on April 17, 2009, at 12:55:28
In reply to Re: Anxiety and Depression cause you to feel this bad?, posted by Cseagraves on April 16, 2009, at 18:32:25
> Thanks for the responses.
>
> It started out initially as extreme anxiety, but I think that it has led into depression also. When it was just anxiety, I was just trying to figure out ways to get past that. I was always a happy and energetic person, a little anxietal at times,(my hubby says a little neurotic) but not depressed. Now the anxiety turned into a full blown fear. (Constant flight or fright mode for over a year) At least then I was still optimistic, but now I'm afraid it's going into what Zana is talking about.
>
> Just feeling helpless and hopeless. I can see now how the anxiety blew into fear, but I don't understand how I lost the WANT to want to do things. Like I haven't lost my lust for life. It's still there, I just can't get it. I want to go out of the house and do things, but my body and mind seems like it is in constant fear even though it is frustrating as hell.
>
> Even now I'm sitting here writing a list of things for my husband to go and get at the grocery store. It feels so stupid.
>
> You described it exactly Zana. It's like someone threw a switch one day and then my whole world turned around. It started with the anxiety first, because I was still able to go places O.K. and then the depression has set in because of the inability to get past the anxieties. I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself get depressed, but over the last couple of weeks, its been like what Zana described. All thoughts are black, completely negative. I used to think that I couldn't do anything to myself because I love my kids and hubby to much and wouldn't want to scar their lives that way, but now other thoughts are slowly starting to creep in. Thinking now that they don't need a mom like this and that they would be o.k. if I wasn't here. That the way I am right now is not fair to them. (These are just thoughts, I just can't believe how negative they have all turned.)
>
> People say go and start working out again. It's hard to explain, but my mind will kind of feel the old urges I used to have and how great it felt when I had a great work out, but then there is this other feeling of such strong apprehension and it seems so exhausting. My motivation is completely gone. I did make myslef get on my treadmill yesterday and just do a slow walk for about 30 minutes and listened to my i-pod. I felt more anxietal about an hour afterwards. What the hell was that? I USED TO BE SO MOTIVATED! YOU COULDN'T KEEP ME IN THE HOUSE.
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> The whole feeling like I'm dying or something is wrong is because I feel so weak and nauseous all the time and it consumes my thoughts. Wish it would just shut up. And then I see people post here about how anxiety and depression kills you sooner. (That really helps)!
>
> As far as meds go, I seem to be very sensitive. (Just had an allergic reaction on my second go round with Zoloft) I have been on most all ssris, haven't seen really good reviews on snri's for anxiety, remeron, seroquel (which probably would have helped, but I can't reach a theraputic dose with out bad side effects), trazadone, valium, the only benzo that helps for maybe an hour or two is xanax and I refuse to go on a higher dosage because I don't want to become addicted. So I'll sit here and shake all day. None of the other benzos put a dent in them. Don't know if beta-blockers would be worth a shot as from what I've read they bring down adrenaline, but probably they are contradictory with MAOI. My anxiety is really extreme from what I can tell. The only ne else I have considered is Lamictal, but will try the maoi first.
>
> I tried CBT. For me, that was pretty much a joke. I am now in NBT (Neurolinguistic Behavior Therapy) and Time-line Therapy. I will be starting on Nardil (thanks to myco) around April 24th. I'm just taking small dosages of seroquel and xanax to keep me halfway stable until I start the Nardil (Pray that it works.)
>
> I just feel if I can get past this extreme fear and anxiety, then I can fix the depression part. If I can get back out of the house and back into my normal routine. I wasn't depressed before. I have severe reactions to ssris, so I'm wondering if its even a seratonin thing. Maybe its more dopamine. I don't know anymore. Some of the talks on here get way to in depth as far as receptors, neurotransmitters, gaba, seratonin, dopamine, mao-a and mao-b, etc. I don't need all that. I just want to fix this crap.
>
> I just need to find a med to give me a little push and then I think once I'm not so afraid of everything, I can pull myself out of this. I look outside on a beautiful day and I WANT to go and walk, but can't seem to get my *ss out and do it. Why? Does that make sense to anyone else?
>
> It's amazing to me how much this has spiraled out of control. I have a good pdoc. He listens, but I think he is at a lost also. I try not to think negative about the meds, so I am trying to stay positive about the Nardil. I have to admit, I sit here on the computer obsessed with trying to find something that might work.
>
> I know that I am also in adrenal fatigue and am currently trying to fix that. I'm stressing right now because I want another chest x-ray, but my husband refuses to pay for another one. I smoked for like 30 years and quit about 6 months ago. I had a chest x-ray about a year ago which showed up clear, but I just want one more to make sure something hasn't shown up since (Crazy huh?)
>
> Zana, please tell me your days are getting better. What meds are you taking?
>
> Everyone here is great and I have come to love you all dearly. If I miss a day checking in here, I feel like I haven't talked to my family that day. I just wish for all of us, there was a simpler way to fix things.
>
> Hugs to all.
>
> CourtneyCourtney,
I think there might be something else here going on. You may need a mood stablizer for the AD to work for you. I take lamictal and it has worked wonders for me. I also take effexor with it.
poster:polarbear206
thread:891055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090416/msgs/891228.html