Posted by B2chica on May 16, 2008, at 11:01:27
In reply to Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 10:07:50
instead of acting on death, why don't you explore it.
study it. let yourself think about it.and about your meds, i personally do NOT like prozac. and several people i know have had considerable poopout with it, or worsening depression on it. i'm on ritalin, and it actually helps a bit with depression but it is very short acting...maybe the LA might work better for you? but that is more expensive too.
but from what you talk about you may even want to consider an antipsychotic. zyprexa was great for me. but i am in the process of going to try geodon for the first time due to several reasons (different post). so we'll see.
i get very obsessed on death. i feel i have lived past my time. and death too is very alluring to me. not the dying but the transcendance part. i feel many times i don't belong here.but there is much to explore. so i am starting to write about it. it is a new experience for me and the writing is quite interesting. it is mostly poetry and prose. i am still dealing with the fact that now that i'm finally digging into poetry that KidA is no longer around to help me. he used to be here. and i miss him dearly.
i have a feeling you would be quite gifted at telling your thoughts on the beauty of death as you see it for you through words.
please don't act on it. it is a permanant solution for what may not seem like temporary feelings. and i believe some people are tortured with being able to see the extreme beauty in things...even terrible things such as death. i say tortured because things seem so beautiful that we don't know what to do with the feelings, as with beauty all we can do is appreciate it. except i'm learning that we have a gift. and this too we can share. once we share however we choose to, it helps. express share, write, paint, draw, computer graphics, try something. even just reading and sharing thoughts.
i can guarantee you, you have much to share and give to many people you have yet to meet.and maybe that T wasn't the one for you. i suggest finding a T that practices jungian beliefs.
and READ THE BOOK "memories, dreams and reflections". this was an amazing book for me! hopefully you can find a great T that loves Jung and can discuss openly things like jung felt.
and FYI, taking pills to kill yourself is a bad idea...especially combos cuz most likely you'll end up in a nasty coma for a few days and wake up a vegetable and end up half brain dead with someone wiping your *ss for the next thirty years and your wife and kids visiting you on weekends crying when they leave and dried drool on the side of your mouth. and you'd be one of the lucky ones if you'd beable to communicate.
nope, bad idea. (i work in the field of disabilities and i've seen it, a couple from carbon monoxide poisening trying to kill themselves by car/garage, and the other three from pills...baaaaad results).There IS hope...i can promise you that. its a frustrating journey for some of us that can be more sensitive to the draw, and scary too. but you need to hang on. you MUST read jung...he understands my lure to liminal places.
one more thing...that many cigarrettes?...could that be playing a role as depressant? i used to smoke and it would help me a bit from depression but i only smoked a handful a day, i'm wondering if you could try something like wellbutrin to help with smoking sessation and at least back off if not quit smoking (no i'm not suggesting quitting...one thing at a time) lets deal with depression first). but wellbutrin is used to help people quit, it may at least help you cut back to 10/day.ok sorry so long.
please keep us posted Pluto.
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:829421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080510/msgs/829432.html