Posted by Justherself54 on November 7, 2007, at 22:04:19
In reply to Re: Treatment resistent depression/Justherself, posted by stargazer2 on November 7, 2007, at 15:25:43
> Justherself...Have you read about the theory that when depression is treated less than completely, the depression gets more and more resiliant and becomes more difficult to treat. There seems to be actual brain changes in the hippocampus and in the neurons that affect the treatment and the symptoms of depression get alot worse too. There's no way to prove this unless your part of a research study that is looking at those changes.
>
> What I would like to see are the articles that describe what changes happen in the brain as depression gets more and more resilient.
>
> I have had depression for 30 plus years, on meds for twenty and my original treatment was one med, Nardil, followed by Marplan with successful COMPLETE resolution of my depression. Today due to changes in those meds as they have been reformulated from the original drug, they no longer work the same, so is it the drug that has changed or my brain.
>
> After Marplan was taken off the market in 1994, I have gone through the merry go round but the only meds that worked were a Celexa, Wellbutrin and Adderall combination for a few years, then nothing.
>
> So most of my efforts are in trying to find something that works, although none of them worked like Nardil and Marplan and I would consider all of my trials less than adequate and resulting in an incomplete response.
>
> So I attribute my continuing depression on the incomplete treatment with meds that really didn't control the symptoms very well. For the past 2 years I have been seeing my pdoc every week and this is very odd to not get a good response that I can feel is really controlling the depression.
> I have lost alot of hope in ever getting a complete response again.
>
> Depression is always lurking around the corner ready to pounce whenever it needs a victim.
> I just can't seem to get a complete response anymore. Is it my age, the length of my depression, the wrong meds are being used or the meds have changed and are no longer the same as the original ones. I haven't a clue and neither does my doctor.
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> I'm not sure what else i can do anymore.
>
> StargazerI so relate to what you're saying..I asked my pdoc why I can't get back to where I was 5 years ago and asked if I now have brain damage..I wished I had paid more attention to his response..from what I remember him saying is no I don't have "brain damage" but the more relapses I have it causes damage to the neurtransmitters (or some such thing..I wasn't too swift that day). I'll have to bring it up to him again next time..and ask him if he has any studies he could lend me or point me to that substantiates this..like I say I was nowhere near being "on the ball".
I've been very med compliant and have given each of my "cocktails" a lengthy trial (unless the side effects were too bad)..some I've had excellent responses with..but they ALL, every oe of them, poop out..so something has changed in my brain chemistry..even at high doses, they lose effectiveness and seem to in shorter periods now..
It's scary, knowing that if Nardil fails, it's back to the drawing board that's been covered in from one end to the other with SSRIs, AP's, mood stabalizers and all the combinations I've tried..overwhelmes me!
I have life I want to live..I feel it in me..it's just being sat on by a big fat blob of depression that no drug or drug cocktail has been able to kick its *ss off me..
So as time goes by..self esteem goes in the cr*pp*r, self-isolation becomes more comfortable, social skills become very rusty, returning to work unrealistic..oh and let's not even bring family dynamics and being single into the mix..akkk
I'm just really rambling here..too much I think..Therei's a song from the movie Shirley Valentine called "The Girl Who Used to Be Me"..one line "I'd wish I'd find the girl I knew who used to be me"..that's been my goal..enuff said..
poster:Justherself54
thread:793454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071104/msgs/793829.html