Posted by Racer on May 30, 2007, at 22:03:41
In reply to Re: Im getting an inferiority people take better m, posted by rjlockhart on May 29, 2007, at 20:06:26
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> The awnser you would give me is "move out"
>That's not at all what I would say, Matt. (Please -- I'm sensitive about people thinking they can speak for me. 'K?)
If you're interested in what I have to say, it's a little more complicated than that -- and it's much simpler.
Wouldn't life be great if ... Well, if life were great? My life would be very different -- if it weren't the same. That sort of thinking does nothing good for me, and I don't know that it does much good for others I know, either. I'm fully in favor of finding partial solutions in the situation AS IT IS, rather than trying to find The Perfect Solution. Generally, the perfect solution is something which is not feasible. All that happens to me at that point, is I start to get depressed about my life, my situation, etc.
When I find a practical and practicable solution which fits my situation, though, I start to feel empowered. That's the sort of solution I'd suggest for you. One that is current possible, considering your current situation.
So, your current situation is that you live with your mother, and she goes to your doctors appointments with you, and you don't think you're on the correct meds for you. Does that about sum it up? Let's see what options there might be for you, right?
You can't move out, right now, so you can't change the first one. Let's take a look at the other two.
Your mother goes to your doctors appointments with you. That's something you can choose to do something about. You've mentioned that your mother is opposed to you taking stimulants, because you have a history of -- well, let's say a history of enjoying them a bit much, right? How about telling her, in front of the doctor, that you want to have your privacy in talking to the doctor? If necessary, maybe the three of you can agree that you won't be walking out with a prescription for stimulants, but that you don't feel comfortable discussing some of your issues with her there. That's reasonable, it's likely to result in a much better therapeutic alliance with your doctor, and by law the doctor has to respect your wishes regarding privacy. If you say she has to leave, he really does have to shoo her out of the room.
If he doesn't, I guess I'd recommend asking why not? Asking if HIPAA doesn't apply? You're over 18 -- medical privacy is your right.
And regardless of whether or not your mother goes into the room with you, maybe you could discuss with your doctor what you're still having trouble with? Walking in with a plan, maybe even a list -- "Gee, Doc, I've been having trouble with feeling hopeless, trouble making decisions, trouble slowing my thoughts so that they're coherent" or whatever it is -- might be very helpful for you. Asking him specific questions -- "why do you think Prozac is the best choice for me? Do you think a more sedating AD might be more helpful, considering my anxiety issues?" Questions, generally, are the best way to learn answers, right? ;-)
Matt, when I go into a doctor's office, I often take in a little notebook, with all my questions and concerns on it. Sometimes, if it's a big deal for me, I have an actual typed outline! That way, I don't forget something important, I don't mistake what I'm asking about, I don't get sidetracked by tangents, etc. What I'm suggesting to you above is based on experience, and talking to other people who have done the same thing. It really helps.
As for your mother, remind me: are you in therapy? What sort of therapy is it? (CBT? Psychodynamic? General supportive?) Is there a chance at having your mother come in for a session so that you can discuss some of these issues with her? Maybe find a way to a mutually satisfactory solution?
I'm betting, by the way, that there are ways that your mother could be approached with better results. The sense I've gotten from you here, over time, is that both of you have gotten into a habit of knocking heads -- and that if either one of you could break the cycle, you could find solutions.
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:760114
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070524/msgs/760461.html