Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 12:21:18
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications... » jealibeanz, posted by Honore on May 3, 2007, at 10:53:04
> Jealibeanz, After being in the quandry you've been in for so long, I think you need to take action. You don't deserve to put yourself through so much shame and denial.
>
> I know this is a hard thing to do, but you need to get out there and find the right doctor. The right doctor will take your self-descriptions seriously, and really work thoughtfully and persistently --on his own, consulting with you, but also bringing his own clinical experience and judgment-- to find the right meds. If you need xanax and strattera, or whatever--- or if there's some new AD he knows of--
>
> But the only way to get past this phase of stuckness without appropriate medical ( ie psychopharmacological) treatment is to go out and find a better pdoc ((or other doc) than your family GP. he sounds terribly well-meaning-- but not able to handle your particular problems.
>
> Any pdoc who dismisses your sense that you're depressed-- just cross off the list. He's not the right pdoc for you. Don't hold it against yourself, and start questioning whether you have the right to ask for appropriate meds. You do.
>
> I honestly think if you found someone who could treat you, you could just accept that these meds are okay, and stay within the boundaries of what he thinks is safe. You just need to do it.
>
> Don't get discouraged by the occasional (or even frequent) doctor who doesn't get it. Unfortuanately, these days, many don't. Who knows why-- probably institutional. But not your fault. Even if you feel very bummed out after those appointments-- you need to accept the bad feelings, but move on to the next doctor on the list. You need treatment. If only you could believe that enough to get what you need.
>
> HonoreThanks for the lengthy response. I think right now my biggest problem is that I don't believe I need help. I think I can and should do things on my own.
I haven't actually seen my doctor in 2 months, so my perception of what he's actually thinking about me is awfully skewed. Right now he's not thinking anything about me because he hasn't seen me!
Whenever I build up these problems in my head, they're always knocked down when I have an appointment and he's always very willing to listen to anything I tell him. I've never walked away from an appointment feeling badly, I actually have a lot more faith and confidence each time. There's never been an appointment when my medications weren't changed. The only time I've requested a change and was turned down was when via a phone message through his nurse about refills.
And no, thank god, this is NOT the doctor who told me I was not depressed and did not have anxiety. That man was an idiot. I don't accept things like that.
My current doctor and PA do believe that I have GAD with tendencies toward depressive bouts. We've discussed +'s and -'s of SSRI's/SNRI's. My doctor thankfully will listen to my problems and almost always is open to my suggestions and feedback.
Not many GP's will prescribe Xanax long-term. Not many will hand out amphetamines to a college student without question. Not many will prescribe Provigil for fatigue (although when I first started it I had more than fatigue... I was sleeping 18 hours a day after finishing a tough semester!). He's fine with me continuing to take Lunesta that his PA started me on 1.5 yrs ago (a while back he mentioned a "goal" of getting off of it... this didn't happen and he hasn't ever pressured me to do so).
I don't ever "get in trouble" when I decide to stop a treatment or alter things a little. He figures there's a good reason for it and he'll think of something else that will help and is tolerable.
So... I don't think my doctor is the #1 psychopharmacologist/GP in the world, but I also think that he's a little betterthan I always assumed. The more I see him, the more knowledge I realize he has.
Part of my problem is that I really do need to be seen once a month in order to do well. If nothing else, just for encouragement.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:755098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070502/msgs/755514.html