Posted by Maxime on March 15, 2006, at 14:07:25
In reply to Re: Strong suicide thougths, posted by tepiaca on March 14, 2006, at 23:28:32
Tep, we're in the same place you and I. I wish I could tell you with certainty that you are going to feel better, but I can't. I scared of the same thing for myself.
Let's hold on to each other.
Hugs,
Maxime> I am here Im sorry Im sorry , I dont
> want you to think that I just want to call your
> attention believe me I am suffering a lot. I am
> bearing all this pain. I didn´t call the ER , I just tell my family what I had in mind , they cried telling me not to do this thing. I tried
> to convince them that I will finally stop
> suffering If I am dead , they can´t understand this . I know this is not something normal and
> that nobody in this world would accept someone to
> commit suicide. Believe me I can understand
> I have a mental problem, what I cant accept is that Im going to live like this forever. I CANT
> Tell me that there is something that is going to
> take this fear away . I cant go to the doctor just to hear the same and the same, SSRIS , TCAS , BENZOS , I know all that meds , they dont
> do anything , I need something really strong .
> Im increasing my Nardil dose to 60 but I cant
> find relief to my depression yet.
> Guys just help me that this fear go away, I could
> live with depression I think , but no with this
> horrible fear . I would exchange one of my arms
> or one of my eyes or my ears or anything to be
> better, I would try to help others always, I just
> want mental peace, this is the worst punishment
> me and my family could ever received.
> I can´t kill myself , but when I think that I have to be like this all my life is when I doubt
> it, and its when I try to miss all that my family and you guys tell me in your posts. I just want relief of my fear. I need to work, who is gonna give me money? . I have thougth Im schizoprenic , this is not a common depression, this is a nigthmare.
> Im not doing anything bad, just tell me there is a med that can make me be a normal person, with no fear, tell me please I need something to fix my life.
> I accept I was not like this one year ago, I accept I can be better, feel better, but I can not accept that I can be happy, I never have been happy since all this started , I need a miracle
> only a miracle can help me now . Im a here in front of the PC, Im gonna stay here sit for more time
> I dont know what to tell you. I read all your posts, I appreciatte your concern for this
> crazy boy.
> guys think you have the same fear I have, what
> would you do? , tell me cause I have to do something , I know there are many smart guys out there, what do you suggest me to do for the fear?
poster:Maxime
thread:619994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060315/msgs/620637.html