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I can't hold out much longer

Posted by Maxime on March 17, 2005, at 19:41:30

I'm waiting. Waiting to hear something about the DBS study. I am sick. So bloody sick. I can barely get up during the day. I am in bed most of the time. I dissociate and I like it that way.

No one cares. There is no point in going to the hospital because they won't keep me unless I need a med change. I am so scared that I am going to get tricked into having ECT. When you feel so low and someone hangs a carrot in front of you, it's so tempting to go for it even if it's rotten inside.

I want to kill myself but I am so apathetic I wouldn't be able to carry it out.

I know no one said that life would be fair ... but this isn't fair.

Maxime

 

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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Maxime thread:472245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050317/msgs/472245.html