Posted by verne on September 5, 2004, at 15:03:36
In reply to Re: Thanks all - I'm done., posted by iris2 on September 5, 2004, at 13:20:14
Irene,
Don't feel alone. I haven't worked in over 15 years except for an early morning paper route a few years ago. I don't drive either.
I, too, have atypical depression and bpd. I somehow grew out of self-injuring which is one positive aspect of aging. Borderliners tend to mellow with age.
I've been hospitalized numerous times but not since 1992 when they had run out of options and scheduled me for ECT. I left AMA the night before.
I know the kind of isolation you are in. About 2 years ago I didn't leave my house for almost a year. I didn't even go into the yard. I did all my grocery shopping online which got to be a little tricky. I had alienated just about everybody (bpd anger) but the UPS driver and ran out of friends.
Then in November 2003, I bought a bunch of full spectrum lighting online, and I kid you not, was out walking within 2 weeks. I had heard it helped with depression so I installed it in a couple rooms and added a "light box" to my living room lighting scheme (probably not necessary and quite expensive).
The full spectrum lighting helped me get my foot in the door (or out the door). I started meditating, walking, and even made up with two estranged friends. I found someone who would pick me up and take me to the park for walks too. I also lost some weight.
There are some other things I did that probably should be left to the faith board. I'm still struggling but I have more hope than I had a couple years ago. I still hardly go out but that's mostly due to some recent problems with "self medicating" (alcohol).
Have you looked into the "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder" book by Marsha M. Linehan? It's not easy to read but some sections are great - especially the handouts. There are year-long courses based on this book - even online - but I've felt to vulnerable to participate. Some of the exercises in this book are great.
take care,
Verne
poster:verne
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040904/msgs/386747.html