Posted by iris2 on September 5, 2004, at 13:20:14
In reply to Re: Thanks all - I'm done. » jerrympls, posted by sooshi on September 5, 2004, at 11:10:06
I am crying at the monumental outpouring of support on this board.
Thanks to Jerry for having the strength to post how he really feels.
Jerry, I hope you recognise that not only are you not alone but that others in similar situations do not have the strength of charactor to reach out to others and open themselves up as you have. Give yourself a big pat on the back. You have both courage and intelligence to write as you did.
I feel hopeless a lot of the time. I always think if I make a statement everyone will just think it is a "poor me" statement.
I am jealous of everyone here. I do not know a lot and have trouble learning what I need to know. I cannot work, have few friendships. Basically I do not function much on any level. I suspect that most here "work" and are able to do things like clean their homes, have friends they do things with and are active on some level.
I have tried what seems like every med and combination there is including 2 ECT stints, biofeedback, homeopathy, some supplements. I even opted to take a year off and spend it in a "mental hospital" in the hopes that this intense therapy time would mend me.Besides atypical depression I am bulimic and have self injured. I live alone and have a couple of friends that speak on the phone to me but I never see. I have been sitting on my couch for the last two years, lonely, angry, disappointed, depressed and quite alone. My family provides some monetary support but no mental or emotional support. In fact they make me feel worse most of the time.
My last therapist has told me that I am a professional complainer. So I try not to complain too much. This is obviously a great exception.
My pdoc has has lost interest at most I can get a prescription. I used to have him as my main and really only support. I could talk to him about anything and he could make me laugh and enjoy the conversation. He could empathies with me at some level. Now I have no one.
I am not great at putting into words what I am trying to say but there you have it. Yes I know "poor me" I guess I needed to say it here at least this once.
Current meds:
oxycontin
ritalin
valium
klonopin
peridium-plus
amisulprideJust ordered milnacipran. Not sure if I can continue with amisulpride. It helps some but my "interstitial cystitis" is bad and probably this is the cause. Lowered the dose, perhaps that will work.
Just started to have an interest in trying all these meds agian. How do you keep the hope about it all and a positive attitude?
Any suggestions welcome, that is why I wrote this.
irene
poster:iris2
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040904/msgs/386717.html