Posted by platinumbride on July 10, 2004, at 9:13:59
In reply to Re: end of rope, posted by DanielJ on July 9, 2004, at 9:28:51
I'm really overwhelmed by this outpouring of help and support.
It's a bit of a blow - just considering that my doc's laissez-faire personality is showing itself to be a detriment is very depressing to me. (Racer, you know about this........and finally I leave him for therapy, and I can't find a damn therapist here who has an open practice or will treat a patient with a history of suicide!!!!!!!!)
Racer, my amiga, you are also correct when you remember that I am limited in finding a new p-doc. There is ONE on my plan and I'm hearing from my family doc that he is no good. Maybe my family doctor will prove to be a help with meds- dunno........Do I want to get better? Well, a part of me does - the part that remembers what it is like to truly be alive - not the walking dead I have been so often in my life - not the woman who sabatoges herself at every juncture and says why bother. Not the woman who weighs 240 lbs but has a panic attack if she acts as she should when she wants to lose weight, and exercises in addition to going easy on the food.
Sorry that this has gone into psycho babble psychology territory......
I printed that list of meds - thank you Zeg. I cried to think of the long and thought out posts of everyone, and find myself very grateful to you Racer, for your repeated strength and generosity of spirit.
So I guess now, in addition to begging some f----ing shrink to counsel me even though I have a suicidal history, I can wait until I have girly hormones tested and then MAYBE find a drug I can tolerate in terms of side effects and maybe even help me. (Racer, I got that from you)
There must be a doctor I can see somewhere who has a large patient profile and feels comfortable prescribing from a larger pool of drugs than my current doc. I mean, maybe it isnt;' so great that I have to come up with ideas of what might work based on things I read here and then get a yay or a nay from the doc. I just don't know....
I do know that I am grateful for the help you have given me on this board time and time again,.....
Diane
poster:platinumbride
thread:364276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040710/msgs/364672.html