Posted by Angel Girl on June 7, 2004, at 19:06:41
In reply to Re: Today my sister told me ... » Angel Girl, posted by Caper on June 6, 2004, at 6:15:20
Hi Caper
I'm not all that familiar with how de-tox works but don't you get a sponser that you can call when you're feeling the overwhelming desire to drink? Maybe that might of helped you? At least you're making some progress by eliminating the liquor and just drinking wine sparingly. That's a step in the right direction. When the right time comes and you feel stronger, you will be successful.
Does your friend know of your problems? Why are you going into a hospital?
That's the route I'm using too, is calling a physician referral service. I did have a couple of recommended pdocs. One hasn't returned any of my calls in the last couple of weeks so I guess I won't be seeing him and the other one is way more expensive that I can afford. I'm extremely POOR and MUST find someone who is totally paid by the government. That's EXTREMELY hard to find but unfortunately I don't have any other options. It certainly decreases the number of possibilities for me.
I think my days of harming myself in a physical way are behind me. Hopefully, if it returns, it won't be as bad as the last time and I would *want* to get help, unlike the last time.
That was a very touching thing you did for that woman. I'm sure she appreciated it more than you'll ever know. I'm sure it made you feel better too knowing that you were able to help someone else feel a little more at ease in such a scary situation. I'm not sure I could actually do that, I'm SOOOOOO shy. I would want to but my extreme shyness would probably hold me back. :(
Thanks for your e-mail addy. I hope you have a wonderful visit with your friend and I wish you all the best for when you go back into the hospital and of course, for your recovery. It must be a good feeling to not have to keep saying *I'm ok* all the time. I say that to my family every time they ask, which is every day. Sometimes I wonder if they really believe me but they don't prod me thankfully.
BTW, how long will you be in the hospital for?
AG
> Hi Angel Girl,
>
> Hope you are doing well. In answer to your previous post:
>
> Yes, unfortunately I have tried in-patient alcohol detox numerous times, but it has yet to last more than a few weeks- it is just so easy to pick up that bottle for an hour or two of oblivion! I take hope from the fact that most people don't quit until after many attempts though. Right now, I'm off the hard liquour and using wine as sparingly as I can. I have visit with a good friend (whom I have not seen in years) coming up a week from today and don't want to miss it, but after that I'm checking myself into a hospital I've never been to before, one that was recommended by both my current therapist and my former psychiatrist (who is an absolute sweetheart! I owe her tons of money but she doesn't harass me and she's still always there for me when I need her, even though I'm not technically her patient anymore.)
>
> Regarding how I found my psychiatrists and therapists:
>
> I was really really POOR when I first sought help for my depression in 1995 so I had no choice but to go to the county "income-based" clinic. But I lucked out- my therapist was amazing and I'd still be seeing her now but she moved far away after about a year. The psychiatrist at the county place is good too....very soothing, but it's frustrating trying to get an appt. because he's so busy.
>
> After I moved to finish my college degree I tried a university hospital psych clinic but just couldn't connect with anyone so I stopped going. Then when I started "slipping" in law school I called physician referral number and got the number of a really good psychiatrist who does therapy as well as meds. (She is the one I referred to earlier).
>
> To make a long story short ( or am I too late? *smile*) you really just have to shop around.
>
> I'm glad you like the "Feelings aren't good or bad, feelings just ARE". It helped me a lot. We feel bad enough already without feeling guilty for our feelings, for heaven's sake! Another line from one of my hospitalizations is "Would of, Could of, Should of." About not beating yourself up for the past. What's done is done, and the focus should be on today- as hard as that may be.
>
> As far is inpatient, my opinion is if you already have a good group therapy to go to, you probably are getting the real benefit of hospitalization already. UNLESS...you start to feel like you might hurt yourself. If that ever happens, please, please, seek help.
>
> I'm not going to lie, inpatient programs are scary as hell- but only for about the first twelve hours. Then you begin to see that the others are mostly just like you- people needing help and seeking it. At least 75% of the people in the hospital you would never ever know of their problems if you met them on the "outside". Plus (hope this doesn't sound cruel) you'll see people much worse off than you- and it will give you some feeling of relief.
>
> The patients who have been there for a few days and know the routine are great about taking new people under their wings and making them feel more comfortable. This was done for me, and I had the chance to do it for someone else recently. The poor woman was shaking and crying and I just walked over, introduced myself and said "this is a safe place, they'll help you, it'll get easier and do you want a hug?" She said yes and it was the best feeling in the world that I made a scary (but brave) thing she was doing less scary. I really think we can do so much for ourselves, if we open up. That's why I like groups so much.
>
> The worst thing about inpatient is having your things gone through and having some taken away- it makes you feel bad. But it's not just for your safety but for others' who may be suicidal. My favorite quote from a nurse is "you'd be surprised what people could get up to with this dental floss". *smile*
>
> Anyway, I wish you the very best, and if you ever do consider inpatient and want more info on what it's like, feel free to ask. Caper@playful.com is my e-mail. If I don't answer it's because I'm back in the detox/hospital myself.
>
> Take care of you and be kind to yourself!
>
> Caper
>
poster:Angel Girl
thread:353643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040602/msgs/354617.html