Posted by Angel Girl on June 4, 2004, at 9:38:37
In reply to Re: Today my sister told me ... » Angel Girl, posted by Caper on June 4, 2004, at 7:01:02
Hi Caper
I've been on and off depressed since I've been 17 and I'm 50 now, gasp!!!! I've had a rough life and really came ungluded in the summer of 2001. I didn't seek any professional help until Oct 2001, at which point I was told I had severe depression and put on Effexor XR. After starting therapy, my therapist thought I had BPD and sent me for an evaluation but I was then diagnosed with BPII, that was the summer of 2002. I was rapid cycling several times a day and I couldn't handle it. I then starting seeing a different pdoc and was put on mood stabilizers with my Effexor XR. Once up to the appropriate level of the mood stabilizer, my rapid cycling came to a dead halt and left me with depression ever since. Initally I resided in what I call the "black hole" and was extremely suicidal. Thankfully, that has passed but the depression continues on. I'm not near as bad as I was back then but just the same it is chronic. Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever go away. I know I do feel hopeless. I had dumped that therapist because she always belittled me and right now I am actively looking for a new therapist but not having much luck so far. I know that therapy would help me immensely. I think meds can only go so far. I have to learn better ways of dealing with situations and stop being so self-destructive.
I did tell me sister that I missed the old me too. I feel she is within me waiting to get out but I'm not sure I know how to release her at this point. That's where I think therapy can help me. Life like this is HELL and nobody deserves to live this way.
Thanks for your reply and I wish all the best for you in getting better.
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:353643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040602/msgs/353699.html