Posted by katia on February 5, 2004, at 18:40:56
In reply to Re: Depakote is not a sexy drug, but it works, posted by fluffy on February 5, 2004, at 14:26:31
> Hi Katia--
>
> I don't really understand. Have you been wondering whether you are bipolar or not? Sounds like you keep testing the waters and doubting your diagnosis. This is healthy to a point.
** Hi Katy,
500mg of Depakote I think is a good dose. It's not too much, but just enough to help you, esp. with your weight.I just keep feeling like I've just transformed out of an old state of being - a spiritual sort of transformation. I guess there are many factors to it all, but I want to ride out being un-medicated for awhile to see where I go. Pre-meds, I was UNAWARE of being bipolar; so it was all confusing. AND then I was on ADs for a year - you know how that goes - then all this overmedication with the wrong MS. Now, I have the awareness of BP w/o all those drugging hazy meds and I just want to see what happens w/ minimal meds. I'm not on nothing. Seroquel is big b/c it gets me to sleep and that's the big key to stopping mania. I think there's something to be said for the fish oil. My psychic (who lives in Dallas BTW)(who I really believe in) says that my system is very sensitive and i need less meds than the average person and I have been feeling that as well. I'm actually ok at the moment - not too much of either high or low. And I have passed through major astrological cycle (I believe this) and astrologically speaking I'm more balanced now than I have been in over 80 years. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel it to my bones a shift in energy on a deeper level than just "mood" related. I feel like I've come into my own skin and power and it's just getting better. AND it's important to let the old energy run out without medicating that to see where I stand with this new energy. I'm not opposed to going on meds later, but if I do now it'll confuse things. I need to start from ground zero.
I guess I am second guessing bipolar for myself. This may be something I need to go through. Yes, I fit the description, but it's not everything of who I am. I'm still in the process of sorting out what's what.
buying a house...yes very risky and bold. But it feels like a good move. I'm sick of being a poor person renting. I want to get my foot in the door and if that means taking a risk then so be it. BTW, a 300K house here is more like a 80K house anywhere else in the country. i promise - it's like comparing rubles to dollars. You just can't make the comparison. It just has to be done. I'm determined and there's no going back.
So what if this is hypomania? Good things come out of this energy too. It can make things happen.
(me no doc, though) Have you and your therapist been very concrete about your diagnosis? Or has your pdoc given you any indication that there is something else going on or a comorbid condition?Yes, on a "clinical" level I'm bipolar. It all seems so vague anyway.
>
> Not knowing if you are hypomanic is unfortunately a SYMPTOM of being hypomanic. It's very possible you are. Too bad that can't happen when we're depressed, right?The depression has been real that's for sure. And more than likely I am bpII. And i am delicate. I can be thrown off balance easily and I'm just trying to monitor myself now.
I'm feeling kind of protective of you right now!
>
**Good to know you care!**I do have Trileptal at hand in case I need it. I honestly am just not up to getting drugged out right now and going through all that trial and error again. It made me worse. Again, I need to start from ground zero and address the current symptoms, not that old stuff that is probably being washed away for good. Do I make sense? To me I do!
I thought about you when, unfortunately I got sucked into the bachelorette - that guy from Texas is absolutely adorable! Are they all like that there? The accent is so charming.
take care!
katia
poster:katia
thread:287670
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040204/msgs/309915.html