Posted by DissTired on July 31, 2003, at 14:26:19
In reply to Re: please define derealization » DissTired, posted by MB on July 30, 2003, at 13:31:48
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> > My question to anyone who may know the answer is this. Why would lighting be such an issue? Malls, libraries (flour. lighting), and dusk are big triggers of derealization for me. I also sometimes get it at the restaurant where I am now working.
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> I don't know, but my first experience with "derealization" (I guess not "depersonalization", if I now understand the difference) was in seventh grade, and I think it was triggered by the fluorescent lighting. I had PTSD from being teased and hit for so many years in elementery school, and I think the fear and the *lighting* brought this on...I couldn't deal with being in school, so I turned it into a dream.
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> Also, have you ever noticed that when you dream (at least for me) about familiar places, sometimes they are identical to the waking version of the place except for one thing: the lighting. Sometimes in dreams, the shadows are weird, or the angles aren't square in a room...it's almost a perfect mental facimile of the real world, but there are a few glitches.
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> Well, when a lightbulb in the house burns out, and the familiar shadow pattern of the living foom is altered, sometimes it will toss me into an almost panicky feeling of derealization. I think because it is so dreamlike to have those small details (that are usually constant) thrown out of whack.
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> MB
I dream in weird colors, but have not noticed this particular phenom. House lighting can be an issue for me too.As I was thinking about derealization and lighting, I realized my first panic attack was linked to it--at work at age 15 in a grocery store. There was other stuff going on, but I already felt a sense of derealization and then wham, panic attack.
I also think that different ADs may deal better with senses of derealization. When taking desipramine, it was totally gone (unfortunately, the rest of the depression was not). When taking parnate derealization and depression were gone. Unfortunately, parnate pooped out. However, effexor does not seem to do anything for derealization, though it keeps other panic attack symptoms at bay. I wonder what little pathways are involved here. The brain is so fascinating. I wish I had had a chance to learn about this stuff soley as an intellectual exercise, and not because I felt bad.
poster:DissTired
thread:245623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030728/msgs/247065.html