Posted by natas4u on August 21, 2003, at 6:48:23
In reply to Re: Link to help people understand more..., posted by natas4u on August 19, 2003, at 12:18:32
Going for the behavioural (and permanent) solution
Being in country in which these types of affections are not profoundly studied we have to be careful with what pills we get. I have decided I will be better of not taking pills. Last time I explained to a Psykiatrist about derealization he gave me Reneuron, one of its counter effects is anxiety. So I'm not taking the risk of making the derealization more powerful. I am following psychological therapy based on the following fact: we interpret the facts around us, and according to it, we can have certain feelings that will develop in to certain conducts. So by changing the conduct I am working on my interpretations of reality in order to change my feelings of it. As an example if a person with high anxiety hears a noise in his house when he or she is alone, the interpretation of that will most probably be that; “there is some body inside the house and therefore have fear and act accordingly”. The solution is beginning to learn to change the interpretations and in this case it would be the following one. I've heard a noise but I will make a conscious effort to relate it to the wind, and even though I might feel fear I will stay right where I am doing what I was doing as if there was no problem. By following this mechanism, the body will eventually realise that nothing is going to happen and will accept the wind theory with out getting scared and therefore reducing the fight or fleet reaction, anxiety. If flee or hide your body will think it is escaping. Being a conscious being, the reality in your mind is the absolute reality. Derealization or depersonalization I think is a reaction to extreme and prolonged anxiety or panic. Something is hurting the mind (and body) so much that turns the intensity of reality down, in order to be able to react with out just standing there in panic. In other words, if you find a lion in the jungle and you get a panic attack and freeze it will eat you, whilst if you don’t get one, thanks to derealization or numbing, you can overcome the fear and escape. I think the body derealizes by numbing the emotions, more or less depending on the severity, not just fear but also all of them. We are used to relating the emotions exclusively to the relations between people, and therefore we would expect to be simply cold or distant with people (all tough people don’t normally notice derealized persons), but, for what I know, our emotions help us deal with al the objects in the world. Just like a zebra might feel happy when she seas grass we feel certain pleasure from looking at a nice flower. This means the derealization is the numbing of the world by reducing the emotions we receive from it, as some where inside our minds we still fear that the world will hurt us. Hence that flower might not be emotional enough to get our attention or to just get it on a racionalized way. One way I put it to people to make them understand is I tell them this: Imagine that you wake up tomorrow and all your life has been a dream. It would probably be a big shock to you, but to me, although I would not make me happy, it would not be a big surprise. The other way I make them understand is by asking them if they have ever been in a situation when they suddenly switched off and nothing really affected them (like some body shouting at them and them not feeling nothing because they disconnected). Then I tell them to imagine that 24/7. That's how my girl friend understood.
The behavioural solution: What I am trying to do is demonstrate that the part that is still in panic, some where behind the derealization, that it should no longer be in fear. To do that first I have to get through the derealization and I'm finding out how to do it. I have not mentioned but I think I have been derealized, or emotionally numbed, since I can remember (child abuse), derealization in me is 24/7. Anyhow, by paying close attention to my behaviour I have realized that I am in a constant escape. Basically what I am doing is stop escaping to tell my body that nothing is going to happen any more (similar to the guy convincing him self that the noise in the house is due to wind). Some of the things I did and have now identified is that I always seem to have some sort of activity to do, also do very high speeds with vehicles constantly (200 km/h travelling was normal), fearless street fighting, finding it really hard to sustain a proper relation due to my continuated activity, taking huge amounts of caffeine, never resting, etc. By cutting down on the speed I lived with I began to realize that I was escaping from those moments that depress me, those moments in which I am not doing anything or in which I do not have a goal in which I can concentrate (literally almost never). In other words have a present or live the moment. It was such an immediate reaction to avoid doing nothing that I did not even know I was escaping from them until I forced my self to stop from escaping. My theory is that basically when your body is asking you to escape and you don’t do it, there is some primitive part that thinks that the Lion is catching up. I have found that there are two stages to the slowing down. First there is this depression that comes along with the thought of being still or “taking it easy” Basically it’s your body knowing that it can’t do anything about a situation. Once you realize that that is the direction in which you have to go and do it, that is take it easy even though you might feel depressed, fear starts coming your way. I like to say… the beast is getting close. When I reach this point I realize that the intensity of reality is much stronger. It is by learning to feel fear again that you can access all the other emotions that are numbed, after all it is because of fear that they where numbed. This is the hard part and where you need to be as lucid as you have ever been. You are afraid of something that is coming your way, (most of us sea it is the reality of death it self, the absurdity of life, and we sea it as the ultimate though because it is the only thing we are feeling at the time, not because it is the ultimate reality, it is our only worry, literally) You have to get a hold of your self and carry on feeling afraid, think that being afraid is good because it is the way out of being AFRAID. Eventually you will stop being afraid when you are not supposed to. It is not a bad feeling that you want to escape; it is your objective, because through it you can find the other feelings that are numbed. Once you reach this point you will probably think if it is worth it, NEVER SURRENDER!!!!! Being afraid can save your life (like preventing you from having a car accident from going to fast or not paying attention when you cross a red light)
The more times you go through this process the more your mind will realize that there is no longer a need to be scared. I don’t know about other people but I am know beginning to consider myself a little more, be a little more selfish and less just. Have my feelings into account. There are so many things, I can think more clearly and efficiently, I am beginning to be able to rest once in a while. I am learning to think a bout the future with out being depressed by it. I have discovered I can write poetry. There are so many good things waiting for us out there that it is so much worth the struggle against fear.
Any way that is what I think about it in a concentrated way. I will be happy to talk to any one of this on my e-mail (natas4u2001@yahoo.com) or on the thread.May the fear live with you!!!!!
poster:natas4u
thread:245623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030818/msgs/252681.html