Posted by Barbara Cat on July 10, 2003, at 12:27:36
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by jaye on July 10, 2003, at 7:08:19
Jaye,
I agree with what you're saying with some considerations. First of all, I practice Shi-ne meditation, which is about embracing all emotions as the path to awakening. It's wonderfully suited for simply being with whatever comes up and is a very powerful path for me. However, I can get into really bad places anyway and when this happens I have no access to my higher mind, higher self, clarity. It's very hard on my psyche and body and very self defeating. It then becomes like climbing on that dragon's tail when you can barely crawl. I think that most of us here on this board would love to know how to do life without these meds, but we don't have that information available to us yet.Living life skillfully and consciously takes determination, discipline and good instruction. Perhaps not everyone is willing to work that hard but are grateful that taking a pill at least helps them function. I know that I am committed to waking up, have been on a spiritual path for over 30 years. I give it as much as I'm able, but it's still not enough to fully heal my very tweaky nervous system. I've tried going solo many many times, relying on my training and inner wisdom, and every time I come whimpering back to meds. It's very clear I don't know how to do this yet and no matter how much I meditate, eat pristinely, get exercise, I still have alot more learning to do. It's like trying to land an airplane without first knowing how to do it. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid and climbing on that dragon's tail in a raw and frenzied state is just plain foolish.
You mention coping as a way of dealing with our moods. Perhaps you haven't had the kind of mood disorder whereby all your coping skills, lessons learned from experience, putting two thoughts together, fly out the window and the center isn't available. In this case, coping may be accepting help from whatever quarter until our own coping skills are honed and finally anchored. Hopefully we'll get there. Maybe the biggest gift for me from these meds is that they allow me to entertain hope that I'll eventually learn what it is that I need to know. Barbara
> I know my post may make people angry, but I keep asking----if we are sane enough to be writing on this website---and I do realize some folks simply cannot exist without meds---why can't some of us live with the pain, annoyance, terror by using coping techniques instead of drugs?
> I have depression, mind chatter, images of horrible things coming up all day, but have been drug free for about six months. I have been trained to accept all this and use mediTation, exercise, etc. Like yesterday when I woke up and felt very upset to find myself in my waking reality again. I was freaking out, then finally put some sad music on and sobbed for 10 minutes and then was able to meditate for 10 minutes and became "healed" enough to do my work. Every day is a struggle. I call it "riding the dragon". The dragon goes up, he goes down, he is all over the place, and I stay on by living in the moment. Then I forget and I fall off. ouch!major mental emergency! then I scramble around tying to figure out what in the hell happened, then just let go and let all the bad stuff just flow through me. Not get attached to what is happening to me, then amazinging I am "on the dragon" again. We are all here for the experience, whether good or bad and I beleive we have to chose if we want to go through our time on earth asleep (medicated).
>
poster:Barbara Cat
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030708/msgs/240590.html