Posted by KrissyP on March 5, 2003, at 20:25:12
You know-this may sound trivial for some, but I am experiencing and have been for some time-depression due to ALWAYS COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS-what I have done with my life to everybody I know's life. I am really sick of this. THIS is what brings on 99.9%of my depression, and of course fear of suceeding. I think there are some more deeper issues here, because the meds are not going to take away this feeling-I have to do something. BUT, I can't stand this anymore guys. I am a good person with a good heart, and I try to do the best I can. I just feel that when it comes to this loneliness, fear, and worry about my future, it overtakes me to a point I can't explain. All I can do is sit and ride it out. This is a long history, and I feel, some deep stuff. I posted about the fact that I was not seeing a therapist at the moment because I thought I was doing well. And despite what I describe here-I really am-NOT. BUT, this is a problem for me and really hurts deep when I feel it. I have friends, I'm in school, almost done with my BA, I have 2 arms, 2 legs, I can see, hear, smell, but that's not the point here, in a way. I just don't now how to fight off these feelings when they come. I think "God, I haven't really done much with my life: never married, no kids, not working in a "career", etc. Oh yeah, I have all my goals and dreams in place but I am clueless on how and what is just going to happen to me.
Man, these feelings are not fun. Any support, experience, advice woud help and thanks in Advance.I just can't feel this way anymore and I don't know if it IS something deeper, like OCD or good old damn depression.
I am a little over week on restarting the Effexor-XR 75mg, AND 25mg Lamictal, along with already taking 100mg Seroquel and 2mg Klonopin-ALL at night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Thanks Kristen
poster:KrissyP
thread:206274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030301/msgs/206274.html