Posted by bpdzone2000 on January 15, 2003, at 11:17:44
In reply to Re: bipolar/marijuana Response to Worrier, posted by Suzi on January 15, 2003, at 3:10:26
Thank to all of you for responding. I know I would here the truth and that's hard to face. Pot was such a balancing device for me and lately it has turned on me and intensified my symptoms. The depression gets intense, thoughts in my head get scary, and panic sets in.
On the otherhand it is that quick release initially that I find soothing. Then WHAMMY it turns on me. I'm like on this merry-go-round and the faster it gets the harder it is to jump off. I'm scared that I am going to flip out emotionally, have to be locked up somewhere safe to deal with the withdrawls emotionally and physically.
I'm starting to get the nausea feeling if I don't smoke for awhile.
I'm really down and out and it's hard with my depression to want to care and do anything about it. I know the pot doesn't help but it get's me through the next few hours that otherwise I think I would be suicidal. I wish it was as easy as to just "QUIT". I feel like such a weak person that I can't, at least not right now.
I am going to try and cut down substantially. I haven't had any today yet and I am going to try to go as long as I can.
Any suggestions would be appreciated...
I'm going to try and keep my head up and stay busy today if I can..
poster:bpdzone2000
thread:135128
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030113/msgs/135952.html