Posted by IsoM on December 9, 2002, at 18:17:15
In reply to RE: anti bully deoderant:, posted by gabbix2 on December 9, 2002, at 11:17:23
I'm not trying to sound like an expert, but I can 'read' people extremely well. A person who's bullied presents a certain image that is obvious to many people, not just bullies. It's just that bullies hone in on these poor souls because they're predators. Others who aren't mean (but not necessarily friendly) will simply ignore them as social outcasts & rarely come to their aid.
People who are picked on often have a certain stance & walk. Their appearance lacks the confidence & sureness that the average person has. They may walk with a bit of shuffle, or not as briskly, or slightly hunched over. They may drag their feet too. They'll often tend to look downwards more, head bend down. There's a list of noticable things that one can analyse by watching them around others.
I have one son like that (he's 27 now) & a close friend's youngest son was similar. Both were targeted. If one can teach their child (or as an adult you can teach yourself) how to present a different appearance to the world, bullies will have a much harder time spotting such a person.
It's not just something I've made up - I've read about it before. Small things like keeping your head up, chin forward; making firm but brief eye contact, not keeping your eyes on them (try to make eye contact while thinking they can all go to hell, you're better than them - it'll help); a strong, reasonably brisk stride (speaks authority & discourages losers from picking you out). If your voice is soft & quiet, practice speaking at hiome alone in a slightly deeper & louder voice - it makes a big difference too. Make sure you don't end your sentences with an upward lilt like when a question is asked; it sounds indecisive & weak to others.
I know this sounds like a bother to do. Why can't people be nice enough to be kind to everyone? But it's not going to happen. One benefit to practicing this is an increased sense of confidence in yourself in public situations. It's not something my friend or I expected, but over time, both our sons' confidence increased & they felt more comfortable (though never really relaxed) in public.
poster:IsoM
thread:130982
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021203/msgs/131147.html