Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2002, at 9:28:50
In reply to Social Anxiety Disorder, depression and PTSD, posted by fuzzymind on December 8, 2002, at 4:04:03
Hi Fuzzymind,
I went through four years of being the picked on kid at school. Fortunately I have excellent dissociation skills and I remember little of the actual specifics, but I do remember my impotent rage. Nothing I could do would make any difference at all. Trying to be nice, getting angry, reasoning - all of them just led to mocking. I wanted to kill myself. My parents brought me to see a psychiatrist at the time, and I was heavily medicated, but my problems didn't go away until the situation changed at a new school. Even now I have significant leftover problems from the bullying abuse.
It sounds as if you still are holding on to the anger to a degree that is harming your life, in addition to the social anxiety. And honestly, I think social anxiety resulting from extreme bullying is pretty much normal. I wish the schools would understand what a huge problem this is.
Cognitive behavior therapy is the answer for some people, not all. I found that while it contains many good ideas, I was irritated by it because I felt somewhat like a dog in obedience school. On the other hand, my therapist picked up on the fact that pure cognitive behavior therapy would not be helpful for me, and now mixes the cognitive behavior therapy into a more interpersonal therapy, which I find a lot more helpful. Therapy is like anything else. You have to interview and maybe even try a few therapists before you find one that is helpful for you.
But I don't think you should discount medications either. You seem to be feeling a large amount of anger, fear, and depression. Medication in addition to therapy could give you the stable base that would make therapy work better. Your therapist will probably talk to you about all this.
I suspect that this discussion may be redirected to the psychological treatment board, Psycho-Pscho Babble. :)
Good luck with your decisions. There are others who experienced what you did, and who continue to be affected by it. And therapy can help the degree to which you are affected.
Dinah
P.S. A little warning to a newcomer. Dr. Bob prefers that we be careful not to use language that can offend others. I realize the language accurately describes how you feel, but he asks that we be somewhat restrained in our choice of words on this site.
poster:Dinah
thread:130982
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021203/msgs/130993.html