Posted by fluffy on November 30, 2002, at 11:21:39
In reply to Re: Is there ever a normal after BP - fluffy, posted by vagen on November 30, 2002, at 1:45:48
Hi guys--
Yeah--I would definitely characterize what's been happening over the past week or so as "cycling". I can almost feel the gears turning one way or the other now. Like when my teeth feel clenched, I'm going up...I start to have ideas and plans...and I want to eat--really, really fast...then when I feel sleepy and numb, I'm going down. I don't really know if I'm BP1 or 2. I have never been acutely manic...just hypo (as my journal entries evidence). But I have DEFINITELY been clinically depressed for months at a time. It was only recently that the AD's backfired...and I felt so scared and paranoid on them, that I don't know if I would have become fully manic.(or maybe i WAS fully manic) Wanting to thrash things and yell and clinging to people crying doesn't seem right. Maybe I was mixed??
So who the hell knows. I don't really care anymore about the label...I just don't want to feel like sh!t warmed over one day and happy-chappy the next. It's confusing the hell out of my friends and family...not to mention myself.
I've got plenty to discuss with my doctor on monday. (i wrote my queries down so this time I won't forget.)
BTW, if you all lived in Texas, I'd take you to lunch. (isn't the internet great, though?)
Keep in touch!
fluffy
poster:fluffy
thread:127130
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021127/msgs/130022.html