Posted by Ritch on February 20, 2002, at 12:53:58
In reply to out of control anger, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
> Yesterday I had a totally out-of-control anger experience - I'd been in court all day, waiting for a client's case to come up. I finally got done at 5pm, and called into my office to see if they had any documents for me to read - I was going to offer to go out of my way to pick them up and take them home to read - and instead my boss was all bitchy with me because I hadn't been there to work on a grant!!! Apparently the executive dir. got on her case about my not being there, so she decided to pass it on to me. I was furious because I will make sure that the grant gets done even if it means I have to work extra hours this week, but also I REALLY can't tolerate being ordered to do things.
>
> Luckily I was on a pay phone and ran out of change because a lot of very rude things were on the tip of my tongue and I was so furious I just wanted to quit on the spot. I went from being quite calm when I made the call to being furious, crying, wanting to quit, and having - fleeting - thoughts of overdosing or stepping in front of a bus. I walked briskly for about a mile and a half - in dress shoes, oh, the blisters!!! - and finally managed to get a bit of a grip, but I'm afraid that she'll bring it up today and I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.
Hi KB,What meds are you taking? Sounds like some of my bipolar rages. I have an experience like that where I work about once a week. When you get angry and have to maintain control you get depressed like you mentioned. I need to do some job hunting. I can't handle bosses either. I don't like being supervised. I do more work than necessary, so I get angry at not being trusted to use my own judgement. I suppose I am just being "oppositional", but maybe that is part of my ADHD/bipolar problems. I see others where I work that don't get all twisted out of shape over the same circumstances. It seems that with the right meds I have been able to "handle" these type of environments, but I often wonder if I just found work that fitted my personality instead of trying to change my personality to suit my work (and my bosses), I might be a lot happier. Maybe it is time to hang your own shingle?
good luck,
Mitch
poster:Ritch
thread:94779
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020215/msgs/94794.html