Posted by Mark H. on January 7, 2002, at 20:42:04
In reply to Re: Motivation/Focusing Problems on Provigil, posted by Bekka H. on January 5, 2002, at 19:48:36
Thanks, Bekka H., for the excellent information. I appreciate your suggestions and musings, because it's just that sort of multiple-factor involvement that is making this difficult. In a very honest discussion with my boss and a co-worker this afternoon, I was surprised to hear myself admitting a great deal of negativity about my work. Specifically, for the past few years, I've been punished for showing any initiative and rewarded for being perpetually available, with the result that I now tend to wait for the next "emergency" rather than planning my daily workload. Your observation that I may have forgotten how to motivate myself may be entirely valid. I'm going to start working on that at once. Wish me luck!
By the way, I've been taking Ritalin daily for more than 4 years. During my most "up" times, I sometimes spontaneously stop it for a day or two, but my usage has been up quite a bit in the six months prior to my switching to Provigil. I've gone back to Ritalin for the past several days, and although I have a little more self control, I cannot seem to change my thinking-behavior.
I'm having memory problems as well. For instance, I didn't remember until today that I had posted this question (and the answers are obviously very important to me), then it took me far too long to find my own post, making me doubt whether I actually had posted! This is pretty disturbing to someone who is used to being in control and able to hold large amounts of complex and interlocking information in mind for use on a moment's notice. I feel like I've become stupid except for short, intense bursts of time that I no longer can connect into a coherent whole.
With kind regards,
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:88641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020103/msgs/89240.html