Posted by paxvox on November 12, 2001, at 18:54:19
In reply to Re: Delphine, posted by Phil on November 11, 2001, at 17:39:50
It was me who said you would be dead if you REALLY wanted to be. I'm sorry if that sounded judgmental, that was not the point I was trying to make.
About your meds: How do you get Ritalin or Amphetamines prescribed? Maybe it's where I live or something, but I don't think my Pdoc would ever give me that, even though he says I "show signs" of ADD (along with my OCD, but REALLY it's the GAD that affects me the most!). Anyway, maybe Ritalin is charging you up too much that even mega-benzos will not unwind you? I know your feeling of dreading the mornings, then starting to feel better in the late afternoon. You know why that is for me? I think it is my obsession with getting to sleep, and trying to get more than 3 hours without getting into my sleep-wake-sleep pattern that goes on for 90 minute cycles.
For years, I have always postulated that I would function best with some speed in the AM and some downers in the PM. Just like the "YES" song 'Close to the edge'...."I get up...I get down..I get up..I get down" And yes, I do know the other reference you mean about crashing, because that was me 20 years ago. Strange thing is, THAT was how I was "self-medicating".OK, perhaps if you tried something else for ADD, like Wellbutrin. Have you ever had WB? It works *similarly* on the brain as amphetamines, but w/o the addictive or abuse potential. It does "reve you up" and I do have trouble getting wound back down, but that is very dose-realted, and to some degree can be regualted by when you take WB. I get a mild bezo, Tranzene, which I take in the PM before bed, but I developed a tolerance, and my Pdoc will not increase dose. He prefers "mood stabilizers" like Depakote, Topamax, Neurontin and the like, all which make me feel like crap. I ask, repeatedly, what is worse, a "reliance" on benzos, or a life of suffering? That is the nexxus where your life and mine DO come together, where I DO understand how you feel. But somehow, I keep hoping,and hanging on. Maybe...just may be that answer is around the next corner.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:83708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011104/msgs/84009.html