Posted by AMenz on August 3, 2001, at 0:36:23
In reply to Re: I'm so sick of living like this » Jady, posted by Else on August 3, 2001, at 0:16:16
I don't know what to say, it is so hard to suffer from symptoms. Except the alternative sucks.
I have tried to keep plugging at whatever might work. With depression putting one foot in front of the other, although my biggest problem is anxiety. I cycle pretty rapidly if not stabilized.
Anxiety I have found meditation and writing.
The worse problem is all the bad habits of thinking and behaving that one picks up from years of mood instability, specially when it starts in adolescence. So I try to work on these.
It is good to remember that there is usually some respite inbetween episodes. When I was young things were pretty rough until about 26. These were periods when I had two episodes in 5 years and I needed a lot of therapy to rebuild social skills etc.
It did get better with experience in dealing with symptoms, etc. You of course need some semblance of right medications that make the biochemical aspect tolerable.
But life is not necessarily happy all the time. Its however the negative mood that makes it seem unbearable.
One thing I do know, this is silly, is every time I think to myself, I wish I were dead, I stop and substitute I wish I were better. It has done a lot for these feelings of complete despair.
I hope some of this is of help to someone.
> No, actually I can't. I can think of good times but they only remind me of the crap followed them. I'll get over this I suppose. Thank you, though.
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> > But can't you remember a time you didn't feel like "giant lumps of crap" (a favorite phrase of my son)? Right this minute I'm in a sort of haze between thinking life is total s**t and thinking it might just be okay. But I know if I bump my head getting in the car tomorrow morning I might just want beat the hell out of my car roof and decide the rest of the day is shot and I might as well just forget it. But I do remember a time I didn't feel that I might go off at any minute. I'm looking forward to feeling that way again.
poster:AMenz
thread:73202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010731/msgs/73245.html