Posted by jojo on August 2, 2001, at 23:16:18
In reply to I'm so sick of living like this, posted by Else on August 2, 2001, at 22:59:44
> It's simple really. On antidepressants or anticonvulsants I don't fully realize how badly my life sucks. So I just deal with it in a relatively effective, albeit deeply bored way. When I am off, the horror strikes me. Right now I am on Wellbutrin but it's not a normal AD. Anyway. I don't want to numb myself to make my horrible life seem OK. So now what? When I am off, like right now, everything seems so hopeless. I don't want to be a zombie but I don't want to kill myself either. I don't know what to do. I just want to be myself and feel both alive and happy at the same time. Is this even possible? I'm so depressed. I feel like I did last year before I tried to kill myself. But things are OK. I get along great with my co-workers. I think I could even be friends with them and it is so hard for me to make friends but I can't do it. I'm too scared to be intrusive or something like that. It's all so f****d-up. Why do I bother? I just want to be happy but it's so hard.
"Right now I am on Wellbutrin but it's not a normal AD"
What is a normal AD?
If you list what you've tried, I'm sure that you'll get many suggestions, a few of which might actually help.
This isn't the time to quite. Lots of advances are on their way. Do one day at a time.jojo
poster:jojo
thread:73202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010731/msgs/73206.html