Posted by JahL on October 31, 2000, at 10:31:26
In reply to JohnL, posted by SLS on October 30, 2000, at 8:21:12
> I guess the main point is this: much of my emotional and psychological development ended at age 17. I will never lose fierceness. It is at the core of my nature. But I guess I manage it no better than a 22 year old. When I feel that someone is patronizing me, I go ballistic - not that that is what you were doing. I doubt this is the last time it will happen.
> ScottScott,
you raise a good point concerning just how depression etc can arrest emotional development. I know depression consistently deprives me of emotionally-enriching experiences.I started pondering suicide aged 8 and in the 18 yrs since, am yet to experience a day's normal emotions.
Like you I still have that youthful fire in my belly and it is v much a part of me. I'm hyper-sensitive to any form of provocation, especially the aggressive kind. People cross me or my family at their peril. Past indiscretions have left me feeling slighty fortunate to still have my liberty.
People (including pdocs) have trouble understanding how a depressive can be so consumed with rage. Why aren't I more submissive & accepting?
On a positive note, I believe when (if) remission is achieved, that, correctly harnessed & directed, that inner ferocity can take you places. Remember it was yr suspect temper that instigated what was a v interesting & enlightening discussion.
Take it easy,
Jah.
poster:JahL
thread:47760
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001022/msgs/47823.html