Posted by Cindy W on August 21, 2000, at 2:32:44
In reply to Re: still worried » Cindy W, posted by allisonm on August 20, 2000, at 21:21:14
> > > Nobody ever answered my post; i hope that doesn't mean i deserve a scarlet letter! Am only a week away from my next scheduled pdoc appt., and am trying to decide whether to cancel it, talk to him by phone, or go in person; and don't know whether to ever even go back. Change is very hard...esp. with OCD! I can't make up my mind about what to wear to work everyday, much less what to do with the rest of my life. Any ideas about how to make decisions such as this? Thanks!--Scarlet Woman
> >
> > Am I a pariah? Nobody ever answered. Have to see my pdoc tomorrow, and don't know whether to just quit therapy, quit Effexor-XR, or hang in there. Have decided to go and at least tell him how I feel (hurt, afraid).--Cindy W
>
> Hi Cindy,
>
> No you are not a pariah! Nothing of the sort. I'm sorry I didn't answer your earlier posts. I thought the others were more eloquent than mine would be and made a similar point.
>
> I have many times felt like quitting therapy and meds --- always when I was feeling my worst. I knew that if I did it, it likely would lead to suicide and that was OK. I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I never did end up doing it. I'm glad.
>
> IMHO, I think you should talk about your feelings with your doc. They are trained to hear anything, so I doubt that morality was really an issue. If it was -- if he was judging you -- then it's probably time to move on. I guess you'll find out when you talk with him. I guess I wouldn't stop the Effexor if it's been working.
>
> If you have no relationship with your husband, I'd get that divorce. Why keep yourself in limbo? I had to be separated for a year before I could divorce. It was hellish. I couldn't wait to be free and get my real name back. I unexpectedly had an affair with a married man shortly after my husband moved out. I told my doctor. I was embarrrassed, but he never judged me. It's his job to help me see why I do things. I'd clarify what your doctor meant. It may be your own feelings that are tainting your impression of his reaction.
>
> Be well and best wishes,
> allison
Allison, thank you for your post! Will try to talk about it all with my pdoc tomorrow afternoon. You sound much braver than me. I've been separated for about 4 years now, but am so afraid because I've married for 24 years, half of my lifetime. I feel very confused, afraid, and alone and am very afraid my pdoc will reject me too. Will let you know what happens.
poster:Cindy W
thread:41918
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000811/msgs/43434.html