Posted by Kath on August 17, 2000, at 23:48:19
In reply to Re: Definitely NOT your fault, posted by dove on August 16, 2000, at 10:40:06
Thanks for sharing, Dove,
This is going to be discussed with his doctor & see what he has to say about it. It's really disturbing when people (men OR women) act as you've described! Yikes.
Take care, Kath
> In no way should you take the responsibility for his actions. He chose to behave in this manner, and you told him no, and tried to respect him without having to condemn the man behind the behavior. You handled the situation in a very honorable way.
>
> That said, I've seen this situation repeated in my own family, only the guilty parties were women, not men. And it was other family members who were acousted. People view female come-ons in a completely different light than male come-ons, and I understand the reasons why, but it's still the same behavior.
>
> One thing I've all noticed in this regard is that it starts with either a spousal death, (where they can't deal with the long-term effects like sorrow-loneliness), or with the beginning of age related senility (dementia), I tend to identify provacative behavior as the hallmarker for imminent or slow-onset age-related senility. They lose their inhibitions and aren't able to recognize or sense the social and moral underpinnings of sexual behavior with family members.
>
> The young men these ladies tend to come-on to are usually grandchildren, sons, and in-laws, and they always laugh and pat their hands, placating the "silly" women, as they like to categorize them. But those same actions coming from a male can feel and be much more threatening and difficult to deal with.
>
> And my Grandma and Great Grandma definitely come-on strong, they wrap themselves around the selected male, rubbing them, ect... Both of these particular women were/are four feet five inches tall, these tiny little grannies, whistling and hooting at men in the grocery store. And sadly, the effects of senility robbing everything from these women, from the age of 40 until they passed on a downward spiral. Near the end, my Great Grandma was 102 and now four feet tall, she was still winking at the boys and doing her eternal "Mae West" impersonations.
>
> Just some quick thoughts, you may want to have him checked out for either destructive depression or dementia. There are tools to help him and impower him to live normal, and within the confines of what is acceptable in our society(s).
>
> dove
poster:Kath
thread:42604
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000811/msgs/43207.html