Posted by janeS on June 30, 2000, at 9:59:58
In reply to My Bipolar Soap-Opera life., posted by tdaneen on June 30, 2000, at 7:31:13
> My husband told me 8 months ago that he wanted a divorce. He just couldn't handle my problems. I am a BPII with atypical depression. I have never been hospitalised. I have been through hell in the last seven months finding a job, taking control of my illness, being a single mom, bearing the stresses of everyday life that all of us who are BP have trouble doing sometimes. I have been surviving. I have built new friendships, and have found new love interests. I have met people who understand me and don't hold my illness against me or make excuses for me when I am flakey. They help to keep me more stable.
> I have a good pdoc who is constantly working with me, trying to get my chemical gunk under control. I am by no means close to a goal of being where I want to be, but it is a hell of a lot better than a three year depression.
> My husband is a controlling and manipulative man. I don't even know if he does it on purpose. I have fed into that for so long, that I jump whenever he says he wants to talk...One week ago he threated to use my being BP to try and get custody of our four year old daughter. Again I only see this as manipulation. Last night he told me that he wants to get back together.
> Not one word was said about him missing me, or how much he wanted me back in his life, or how much he thought of me...he only could say that he didn't want his life going this way.
>
>
> Boy am I long winded! Anyway...I would like to hear from any BP's who have been through divorce and how it effected their moods, and treatment. Also how (or if) it was brought up in their divorce for custody.
> The last few days have been hard. I just want to know that there is someone out there that might be a little bit like me....and I'm not alone.....
>
> Thanks for listening..
Tdaneen:Hello, I don't know exactly what my diagnosis is but I do know I'm terribly depressed with some OCD thrown in...but so much of what you said is exactly what I have been through...so do not feel like you are Alone!
We must have married the same man! We divorced 5 years ago and it was VERY difficult and protracted, yet I received sole custody of my two very young daughters. Almost 3 years after the divorce he tried to get sole custody based on my OCD. (Since the lawyers weren't getting paid we were representing ourselves.) The judge flat out dismissed him...said he could see from my behavior in front of him seemed fine, I was in treatment/on medication and my ex had not brought this up before. Thank god, the system worked for me!!!
I believe the basis for my ex's 'divorce behavior' is that he can no longer control me, tell me what to do, etc., and the has tremendous trouble with that. He broached a reconciliation after the divorce had been final for about 6 months...same thing...no mention of the word love...and I just had to laugh. I think it was mostly for financial reasons for him.
Stay true to yourself and your child and continue taking care of yourself. You'll do the right thing.
Sincerely,
Jane
poster:janeS
thread:38824
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000630/msgs/38833.html