Posted by juniper on May 20, 2000, at 1:37:26
In reply to is depression just in my mind?, posted by Bonnie on May 18, 2000, at 21:53:25
it's funny how after living one way for so long, you almost forget that there are other ways to live. perhaps our bodies (and our minds) have such a power to adjust to and accept different circumstances because this ultimately helps us to survive hard times.
bonnie, i am 23 and would place my depression as beginning around age 13. a couple years ago i was thinking (as sometimes i do too much) and realized that in 5 more years i'd have spent half my life being depressed. throughout this time i've run the gamut from suicidal to dysthymic to feeling just about okay. but i jinxed the times that i felt just about okay by constantly questioning how i was feeling and worrying that at any second i would begin to feel horrible once again.
right now, i am doing okay. (not even just about okay, but okay) it's taken me a few months of feeling this way to be able to say this, and it is still a scary thing to write. i feel like it is a very fragile thing, me being okay, and that it is tentative and even saying it might be risky because if i say it i am acknowledging that it is real, and that at any moment it can switch to being not real again.
-----the point i am trying to get to is that i believe that it is very normal (what a horrible word) to feel a little unsure of how you are feeling, especially after you have felt a certain way for so long. like everything, it just takes a little getting used to. maybe you are still in the stage where your feeling okay is a fragile thing, and so you need to take care of it. while you are focusing on killing your depression, maybe also think of nurturing the parts of you that are feeling better....feeding them in a way (whatever their food may be....talking with friends, watching movies, taking walks, playing with a pet, painting....). if you are going to kill the depression, something needs to take its place. :)good luck to you and keep us updated on how things are going.
juniper
poster:juniper
thread:33956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/34092.html