Posted by bob on May 18, 2000, at 23:49:45
In reply to Re: How to deal with it, posted by Naeemah Small on May 18, 2000, at 10:50:51
Hi Naeemah,
I was waiting for someone with cyclothemia to respond ... Greg sounds like he knows more than I do about it (since I've probably skimmed a description, decided it wasn't me, and forgot it), but his experiences are all too familiar.
I've pushed people away from me all my life. I'm doing it right now. There's part of me that wants to scream out "don't let go", but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that voice *never* surfaces in what I say or what I do. These words are from a song by Lyle Lovett:
Listen to your heart that beats
And follow it with both your feet
And as you walk, and as you breathe
You ain't no friend to meIn other words, do yourself a favor and run from me, hate me, forget you even knew me ... because I can't do a thing for you.
-----
On the other hand, look around here and you'll read stories of spouses, children, families that sometimes help and sometimes overwhelm. Not everyone wants to be alone nor needs to be alone. I hope some of these folks can give you some better advice than I can.
But I do agree with Greg that you need to help yourself first. If you get dragged down by your SO because you're not taking care of yourself first, you won't be doing anyone any good. I hope you had established enough of a relationship to break through the wall he wants to throw up right now.
All the same, please remember that it is not your responsibility to rescue him, and you do not have the power to heal him. You can certainly help him, tho, and in more active ways than just "being there" (tho that is a wonderful thing in and of itself) ... but he's got to let you in. Don't feel guilty if he can't, and don't stay with him if one day all that's left is some sense of responsibility. Your greatest responsibility is to yourself.
I'd be very glad to see you post someday that he's changed his tune, and he can let you back inside. It would be nice to know that it can happen afterall.
cheers,
bob
poster:bob
thread:33804
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/33972.html